2 weeks on and just realising he is never coming back ...

Hi everyone,
My amazing husband, daddy of our four little people died two weeks ago today, it was expected but still a shock when it happened as he was only 44 and was only diagnosed a year ago.
I feel like I’ve been doing ok, the babies have kept me going but as the visitors and flower deliveries start to dwindle, I’m realising how lonely I feel and how I’ll never see him again.
The thought of never getting to touch or hear him again tears me in two and I’m wondering how I’m supposed to just carry on as normal when my world has been turned upside down!!! :frowning:

Hi Sunny,
The community on here are supportive some reflective of your position, we tend to express our own circumstance, I lost my wife on the 19th June, 44 years of being together.
I have experienced a range of emotions, at extreme and then a strange remote numbness. I thought that I had accepted her passing, But like part of today if not 4 fifths of today grief and grieving. When I have used these emotions to explore or recognize by experience, some of the most amazing people send in the most sympathetic supportive comments, expressed with feelings. I am truly sorry for your loss, I will be with you in spirit and in mind. All the best for you and your children.
Truly my heart goes out to you.

Hi Sunny sorry for your loss very early days for you 3 months for me just hitting home sorry for your little ones how young are they. I think family and friends do dwindle but I find if I get in touch with them they are still here for us. My heart breaks for you me and every one on this site I find it helps on here every one understands xx

Hi Kim,
Thank you for your reply, they are 13,11,9 & 4. That has been the hardest thing of all this, it feels terribly unfair that they have lost their Daddy so young and I worry so much that because if covid we wont be able to access the right support for them and they will become forgotten about.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband, 3 months is still so new isnt it.

Hi Colin,
My husband also died on the 19th June, I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife, 44 years is such a long time to spend loving someone - my husband and I didnt have that long together, I have known him 15 years but it feels terribly unfair that the chance to make more memories has been taken away from us.
I hope you are able to find comfort in some of the no doubt beautiful memories you made together over your 44 years. Xx

Hi Sunny
Thanks for the reply
One of the thing’s I have is the positive side of Helen was through her nursing, initially as a nursing midwife then working in Nursing homes , She maintained the brightness of vision, an open disposition. So if you’re feeling down use something of your husband, to feel his memory the positive that he had represented.

So young I’m a nurse and work with children and young adults you can get child bereavement UK if you think they need help also an online it’s called Hope again run by cruse bereavement. My children are 26 and 24 we started memory box’s. My granddaughter is 2 and when she asked about granddad Mick my daughter told her he was on holiday now she always wants to go on holidays too see grandad. She’s so young but knows something I had to be honest and tell her grandad has gone and we won’t see him again he has died. I know she won’t fully understand at this age. Hoping you get support for them xx

Ii am so sad that you find yourself in this situation. It is hard enough when you are alone but having to cope with the children’s grief and stay focussed is even worse. I volunteer for a charity called Holding on Letting Go which is probably called something else if you don’t live in the south east of England but there are sumliar charities all over England. They will come out and speak to the children and you to find out what help they can offer. We run weekends where children from 6 to 16 come both days and work through issues through play, songs, making memory books, salt jars and loads of other things which help them express grief. Many children don’t express grief as it makes ‘ mummy or daddy’ cry so they hold it in. We get a lot of referrals from teachers when behaviour changes so I am sure the school can help you find someone in your area. At the same time that the children are playing we have a bereavement group for the adults just to give them a chance to talk. I hope this helps.

Ah Sunny you may not think it but you are so strong. I lost my beautiful husband on 17th June but we had no children together. Your kids will keep you going. My son is 29 and adored Frankie. They had such a good relationship. He checks in with me everyday and when he’s here I feel a lot calmer.

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