Hi,
I very rarely post in here,dont ask me why but i tend to read but i thought id bite the bullet.
I lost my husband in 2021 after a routine procedure caused sepsis , he was gone with in 4 days in intensive care,I had to make that decision to let him go after they proved it was only the machines keeping him there,
I still to this day carry that guilt with me.Although days are becoming a bit more “easy” i miss the man i was with for 36 years. He was 61.
we areexpecting our first grandson (shes lost 3 pregnancies) and i so so wish he was here to see it.
sue ryder texts are the main reason im still going.they are amazing help. Its like they know me personally .
Voddyob67
So very sorry for your loss
Lost my husband October 2022, and still struggling with his loss,
I am hoping it will get better in time
I go to the cemetery every week sometimes twice,
We were together 45 years and married 42 years ,
Sometimes it feels like a bad nightmare
Take care ,
Sue
oh lovely i feel your pain. I sadly cant get to the place where he lays as often as id like to as i don’t drive and disabled. So i have to wait for my son to be up work.so my grand daughter set up a memorial for grandad and we talk to him there and put flowers on it under a tree in my garden.
Do u have children? I tend to go into" support the kids mode" (27&30 at the time) pushed my own grieving to one side , so i could get them through the worst of it. until recently when it came to a head.
I now make sure i take care of my self and the sue ryder texts have helped so much with that. Its like they know what im thinking and go through every stage with me. My comfort blanket.
Life is so unfair at times,
I often think what if, but it wont being them back.
He will always always be in my heart ,as he was my soul mate and best friend, just as yours sounds. But we will get through this…i craft now to take up the hours in the day, otherwise i dont think i could cope. find something that’s just for you. It helps and stops over thinking
sending love and hugs. Here if you need to offload
xx
Voddyob67
Thank you so much for your words of comfort so kind ,
That is such a wonderful idea having a memorial in the Garden ,
Glad you have your son and granddaughter nearby,
My son and grandchildren live a 5 hour drive away ,and i wont drive very far these days
After what happened to my husband ,he had a cardiac arrest whist driving ,I was with
Him and managed to stop the car safely,
We had 2 Ambulances ,Air Ambulance ,and police there, i was blue lighted to hospital in a police car ,following the Ambulance ,my husband passed away 2 hours later
He never gained conscious,
I have nightmares about that day ,Not a Journey we all want to be on ,
Take care big hugs .
Sue x
WOW SUE THAT IS SCARY, no wonder you wont drive far. I would be the same .What an awful experience .Have you had any after care at all ?, because that is trauma enough with out losing the love of your life in the process. I so feel for you. I was lucky in a way as i was able to sit with him for the day , I sang our song to him and held his hand so tightly with both my sons with me. But that initial we are so sorry, there is no more we can do , will stick in my head for ever. Along with “hes gone”.
You will have your memories to keep hold of and it does get easier i promise but you will never forget.
He will know that you are there love…I believe that totally.
Time heals slightly x Shame you son lives 5 hours away though x your grand children* are a great source of help.
my grand daughter wrote me a card saying , we will look after you nan , grandad knows that …bless her.
keep going sue, you can do this , xx we can !!
Voddyob67
Thank Goodness no one can take our memories away ,
So sorry for what you went through,
i have not had any grief coucilling ,one Doctor suggested i should ,
Have you seen anyone over your grief and did it help ?
I have not been on this forum for a while till yesterday ,
My Son comes up as often as he can but has work commitments ,
I am a carer for my 92 year old mother, which sometimes isnt easy ,
I am lucky i have some good friends and i try to go out shopping or for a meal with them .
Bless your Grand daughter writing a card ,what a thoughtful girl ,
My Grandchildren ,came up just before christmas, and we did a early christmas here ,
My son is divorced, so i dont get to see them as often as i would like ,
When my husband was alive ,we went down to Devon often to see them ,
As he would drive anywhere ,
Take care ,Big hugs ,and Thank you for your support ,if you ever need a chat
Just message me
Sue x.
if you can sign up for the support texts from here they help me so much . just to know the things you think and feel are “normal” i still get them once a week now, they call him by his name and me by mine and give you ideas on how to cope with it. memorial tree was their idea , and grand daughter loves to tend to it.
sure your son must worry him self sick, so sad when they divorce, i see her once a week as they also apart. but for those 48 hours shes mine. and with a grand son on the way for my other son im hoping things turn around for them…
much love
vods
Voddyob67
You must be so excited with a grandson on the way ,so pleased for you ,
Something to look forward too ,when is the baby due?
I have a grandson and grand daughter they are my world ,it is heartbreaking when
Children are involved and the parents part ,my late husband did worry about our son ,
Were do i sign up for the Texts ? Thank you for all of your help,
You take care ,
Much love ,
Sue .
due in july.so excited shes half way there now, sent from my hubby we say to sort us all out lol
its so hard isnt it hun,
al look for the link its here somewere lol …
Voddyyob67
Thank you for the link ,you have been most helpful,
Been a pleasure to chat with you ,
Bet you cannot wait for your Grandson to arrive ,i am so pleased for you ,
Big hugs take care
Sue x
Can not come quick enough . We are just happy that this little one has hung on for dear life x shes miscarried first 3 by 5 weeks shes 21 weeks now so thank the lord .will be happy but sad that my arth didnt get to see him x that will always be there x let me know how u get on with the texts x
Love xx
Voddyob67,
Bless her,must be a worry for you all
Let me know when your grandson is born i am sure,your husband will be looking down on you all ,
i know my husband not here to see the grandchildren grow up,
Will let you know how the texts go Thank you ,
Life is like a rollercoaster ride these days with so many ups and downs ,
Take care
Love Sue x
Im just over 2 years since my husband passed away
Although it has got a little easier i still like yourself have sone difficult days.
Spring is approaching he would be in the garden etc.
I have 2 granddaughter’s which im now not allowed to see due to a fall out with my daughter in law
Who since my husband died was treating me like rubbish
I snapped and answered back so im paying the price
She was always saying not to cry whats up now etc and not a care for how i was feeling
So now it is just me and my daughter husbands family never come near or phone
Oh Ali i am so sorry,obviously you other daughter-in-law has never lost a soulmate have they! My brother never came to see me fir two weeks after my husband coz he didnt know what to say !!! Well does any one? Apart from the funeral ive not seen him since and he lives on the same estate.
Families can be so so funny around death.especially when THEY dont know what to do.its so hard isnt it .
Youve got to cry and let it out.
I onow what u mean about the soring thing though.we used to make a point of taking our selves iff somewere one weekend a month .i miss that so much and trying to build my courage to go alone. I want to go sit at the end of blackpool central pier and raise a glass to him this summer.he loved sitting there watching sun go down x
Do you see your ither son ? Can one brother not speak to the other about it ?
Always here x
All21,
Glad to hear it does get easier ,so sorry for your loss,i am just over 15 months on this
Horrendous journey,and it feels like a rollercoaster ride,so many ups and downs,
Know what you mean about family my son is divorced and my ex daughter in law has been difficult,i did see my grandchildren before christmas ,
My late husband and his sister had a big fall out about 15 years ago ,so i have no contact with her,
Take care ,and i hope you see your grandchildren soon
Hugs ,
Susie
