Hello everyone. Well, its nearly 2 years now since my husband died. Life has moved on and yet it seems unbelievable I have survived the grief and loneliness. Allthough I have found a different life for myself, out of necessity, I am finding this two year anniversary very difficult. I keep thinking, OK I have done the two years of bereavement, now can I please have my old life back? I can’t believe this is how life will be until I pass away. It all feels so meaningless and such hard work on my own. Sorry to sound so negative but I’m just being honest.
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Hi @Danielle2 ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
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It’s nearly 4 years (in January) that I lost my partner and I feel just the same. I think about him everyday and the tears still fall.
Sending you a virtual hug.
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I can completely understand that feeling, and I’m sending you a hug x
I am only 3 months into my grief journey and I still expect to see him coming through the door. I know my issue is because of the suddenness of his death (heart attack)
I think I am doing ok and have a few “good” days, then something triggers me and I spend the day crying off and on.
I am so lucky with my family - 3 grown up daughters, sons in law and grandchildren. They have all been amazing even though they are dealing with their grief too.
My coping mechanism is keeping busy, being a social butterfly! I have joined our local “jolly dollies” group (a National group for widows) and I have a new friend who is also a widow and we meet for coffee.
I can’t imagine what I will be like in 2026, I just take each day as it comes at the moment. Hope everyone has a good day today x
I think a lot of it is the surprise at no recovery. We expect to heal from this and we don’t. No matter what we do there’s is an undercurrent of sadness and still a disbelief that we still feel crap.
I’m 20 months in, happy with the life i am now living. Its not what i had and i still mourn that part of my loss but it’s a life none the less.
I hope as the years go on it will get better but i guess that’s up to me and the effort i put into it.
I will never stop missing my man and he will still continue to fill my thoughts every day but life goes on regardless so you have to make the most of that. Its hard and takes some effort, it also includes some difficult teary days but that’s ok too.
We are all doing the best we can, with a life that is so utterly different from what was planned and you will not get over that, ever but living for us, still goes on x
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Hi there Danielle.
I know just how you feel and you have my sympathy. It was two years yesterday that my hubby passed away ( just two weeks after a cancer diagnosis). We were married for 42 years. Together since I was a teenager.
It’s so hard to keep your spirits up and carry on with your life when your partner is taken away from you.
I try so hard to be grateful for all the years we did have and tell myself how lucky I am even now compared to some people but at the end of the day we’ve lost the one person we really felt safe and secure with. The one person who made everything feel ok when things weren’t going right. The person we thought we’d grow old with and who would always be there for us.
And I don’t think any of us will ever truly come to terms with that. All we can hope for are some brighter moments now and then to help raise our spirits whilst we navigate this awful journey.
Sending you big big hugs and letting you know you’re not alone in this xx
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Hello everybody
My husband died a year next Tuesday and it’s still very difficult to accept. I never have a day when I don’t get upset, I might be ok for a couple of hours and then it will all come over me. If it wasn’t for my son who lives near, I wouldn’t be able to cope at all. Until I joined this site I thought it was only me going through this awful grief as I think friends assume I’m over it now!!
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I’m nearly a year into this awful journey I cry all the time and can be anywhere.I don’t get much support from my family and don’t have friends
I have pushed myself to go to groups that do help
I find it really lonely without my husband I find it’s getting harder as time goes on
I so share how you feel. I just want this pain to end but cannot see any prospect of this after a year. I had been with my husband since i was 18, 56 years ago. I don’t think I will ever recover but it is very supportive to be on this site. Lots of hugs xxxx
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Hi everyone, Colin died 14 months ago. Cardiac arrest. I too keep myself busy. 3 days working, 4 days cleaning the house…a little obsessive, yes, but a sedative for my mind that feels like a dam keeping my emotions in check. But i can only clean so much before the sedative wears off and then the thoughts and memories bursts their banks. I have family very close who are their whenever they are needed but i am trying to ease their suffering as well, they have their routines, families and commitments.
Don’t get me wrong, they are and have been my cushion and i will always be grateful, but this forum, no contest. I can come onto here and say whatever is in my head and there is no judgement or the face.
I have just been back to bed…i fell asleep on the sofa again you see…i dreamt of Colin, he was standing over me saying " come on hun, get up" i woke and Brian (our cat) was meowing to be fed.
Thats it. Thank you for listening. Nicky
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Hi Nicky, it sounds like you are doing really well. My husband also died suddenly by myocardial infarction, literally dropping dead in the street on a sunny June day this year, so I feel your pain.
It sounds like you have lots of support which is great. I wanted my 3 (grown up) daughters that I would struggle to be a good mum for a while as my grief was so raw I needed to focus on getting me through these first few months. They have been brilliant and “tag team” me! But I do my bit doing school runs for our grandchildren and have them for sleepovers. I am feeling a bit more like a mum now.
My husband and I retired early, I’m so glad we did as we had 5 years of retirement together, but now I am facing the next 20 years or so (I’m 60) without him - we had been together since I was 17 he was 18.
I am having some good days and I have found comfort with other widows on my bad days, as like everyone on here, they understand the journey we are all on! I have just joined our local “jolly dollies” which is a National widow support group. I’m looking forward to meeting them all when we have a Sunday carvery lunch booked at a local pub.
I also have. New widow friends I have meet through Facebook and we are all there for each other on bad days.
I wish you lived near me as I would gladly let you clean my house too! Xx
And i would be glad to do it.
I am not sure if i have any organisations like that where i am but then again, i haven’t made any enquiries.
At the moment, i am plodding along with the help from family who live in the village and colleagues at work who have been fantastic.
Dont get me wrong, there still are days when my bed is the only thing i need and on those days, i follows my needs like today.
I have so much annual leave built up but i am scared to take it because i can only clean for so long, what would i do with the rest of the time except go mad.
I will now however let the tears flow whenever they want instead of grabbing the duster.
If my body wants to cry but can’t get over the wall i have put up, i put Colin’s music on, that does it every time.
I have listened to what people have said on this forum and started to let it out and it really does help, honest.
X
I too am facing up to the two year mark and can’t believe I’ve managed to exist without him. It’s still as painful now and life feels even more unbearable. How is one supposed to cope. Wondering if we all live too long - perhaps some truth in the 3 score years and 10?
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I’m coming up to my first year and I’m finding it harder and must of the family have stopped talking don’t seem interested anymore which makes it even harder I think
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One of the hardest things is finding people no longer want to listen or talk, whereas it’s what I want to do every day. Professional help will of course do that, but it’s not the same as family or friends. X
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It is hard when you can’t talk to your family sometimes I wonder if they have forgot my steve x
You are not alone! I am coming up to the 4 year mark and the pain remains, the sorrow is always there, the grief threatens to overwhelm some days! I have two young children so that gives me some focus, I try to count my blessings but struggle to find many as I feel robbed of my soulmate! We were together 27 years and he passed away very suddenly and very young at 50! The heart does not heal but we carry on! Keeping busy is the best advise and I try and do that❤️
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I live alone and I’m coming up to my first year finding it very hard and find it’s not getting any easier
I hope I do get to feel better
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2 years 2 months 2 weeks
I won’t write lots as just posted a long message on the missing you thread…
But just wanted to send hugs and love to all in this thread
I agree with you all
Nothing eases… It all gets harder.
Love, hugs and strength to you all for another weekend.
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