Guessing it doesn’t get better 
… now over two years since he died - I now accepted that he’s gone… but it’s the finding him 
that has completely screwed my head up! How do we deal with that? 
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I know what you mean. Almost 9 months for me. Last week I finally stopped crying. But I wish I could wipe out the memories of the day he died, my unanswered phone calls and finally my call the to hospital which confirmed my worst fear. Then the 5 weeks leading to his funeral and the service itself. I try hard not to think about that time but it keeps coming back to me.
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Its been just over a year since i lost my husband. Its still as raw today as it was the day i lost him. I keep thinking i will feel better but i dont. I still feel exhausted and down, and i cant seem to get myself out of it.
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I don’t think there is a timeline, which I find so hard. I think we all want to find a way to relieve the pain but just can’t . Just 8 weeks for me and the pain is so hard to take.
Be kind to yourself and take care xxx
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It is nearly two years and what is amazing is that my 11 year old grandson is very understanding for his age. He loved his grandad and he never minds and is interested in hearing about what he used to do. He helps so much chatting away like he does about all sorts of things. He is such a blessing at the moment. I love listening to how he is getting on. It is a lovely age. Before the changes occur soon when he grows up which is as it should be. He so reminds me of my husband in that he inherited his intelligence and how he is sensible now. I am so pleased that he knew him and can move forward in his life. He has already had his eye operation and bravely accepted it ready before he went to the grammar school. He has accepted all that school has to offer.
Was good to show him how I used to while away my time before we had smartphones to stick our noses in . Playing hangman or boxes. Practising card games, playing chess and all the old fashioned things
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Almost 28 months… still devastated- not had a loss that’s hit me this bad before… had losses but older relatives. He was only 43 and finding him on the floor too late is etched in my mind not had counselling and his family I have ceased exist too. I feel in a deep chasm and can’t get out
Hi @Jewell_12,
I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really low.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling on the Online Community.
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide is a website which has information, resources and advice to help you understand how you’re feeling
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
• Shout (https://giveusashout.org) is also contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
• You can also call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)
You deserve care and support so please, Jewell_12, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team