My mum passed away 2 years ago. Has been the worst 2 years of my life. Today out walking, thinking about her,and how much i miss her, just couldn’t stop crying.
I thought after 2 years it might get a little easier but it doesn’t.
I try to hide my feelings at work and around people i know because i know that by now they expect me to be better, but just feel so empty without her.
Am an only child and we were really close, saw her 4 or 5 times a week.
Sometimes it feels like my stomach is in knots because i miss her so much and knowing that i can’t see her is just too much.
Am just so tired of all this, of feeling so empty. Me and my husband went on holiday for a week, it was lovely but i couldn’t escape these feelings even there.
Every day is so hard without her.
Am so tired of trying to pretend i,m ok.
I see other women out with there elderly mums and its so painful.
The hardest thing about grief is regret, regretting that i didnt spent more time with her the day before she passed away.
Regretting that i didnt hug her longer. And so it goes on, just torturing myself, but i can’t help it.
I know i should look forward but all i feel is so much pain.
I don’t look forward to things anymore like i used too.
Sometimes i think i just do it, because it wouldn’t be fair on my husband otherwise.
I know that i,m not alone, that other people here know how this feels.
I just don’t feel like that happy person i used to be, just feel like an empty shell just walking round, living a lie.
Hi, I can totally empathise with everything you’ve said. I’m not as far along in my grief, it’s only 6 months since my Mum died. I feel it has been one of the hardest times of my life. My motivation and appetite for life has been severely affected. I expect this to be a long process as I had my Mum for over 57 years, it’s obviously going to take time to properly adapt to her absence. I know she would want me to keep going and live a good life but my heart is not in it yet. I’m hoping, as time passes, I will regain a spirit of joy rather than going through the motions. Best wishes xx
I feel the same. I had lived with mum for over 50 years. Her only daughter. I looked after her when she was ill for 5 years and worked from home. It was devastating losing her in May. But I’ve pulled myself together. However hard it is, they wouldn’t want us to suffer. I miss her enormously. Everything around me here at home is just the same, all her things from a lifetime are everywhere. But I’m soldiering on. That is all we can do. I’ve spoken to myself on numerous occasions and said “Is this what mum would want, to see me upset and in tears?” “Would she want me in constant pain every day from this?”. And the answer is, of course they wouldn’t. Now I know how extremely hard this is. but I am not prepared to let myself become ill and sad over this. I hope I continue this way. Hugs to all. xx
Hi Rosie pink, my mum was called rose, but her parents called her rosey. Thats what i hope too, that eventually i will regain a spirit of joy, instead of just going through the motions.
Take care xx
Hi, i have kept a lot of things of mum, still even have a couple of her blouses, they don’t fit me, but i remember her wearing them, and her dressing gown, thats bagged up, because it had her smell.
I think having her things around still gives a little comfort.
Take care xx