2 years

Its coming up to the second anniversary of losing my soulmate. Next week will be the anniversary of him going into that rotten hospital, me standing at the door telling him everything would be fine, he would be fine and i would see him in a few days. I wasnt allowed to walk him to ward or visit cause of bloody covid. Only i didnt see him in a few days and he wasnt fine. I still feel guilty telling him he would be ok knowing he was scared to death. A few days after his op he called to say he felt dreadful i wish i had known that would be the last time i would speak to him. Did i say i love you i cant remember, wish i had told him how much he meant , i remember saying to him to tell nurse he didnt feel well wish i could hear his voice one more time. After that call he was put in a coma never to wake up. I saw him while in coma did he know i was there, could he hear me begging him to wake up and not to leave me. But he didnt wake he didnt see my tears running down my face as he gasped for breath. All this happened 2 years ago but seems like yesterday. Nothing gets easier, only friday i went to sort his headstone out picked a heartshape one with two swans entwined and im getting our saying put on bottom “love you to the moon and back” wrote in kisses. Its beautiful . I hope jims still proud of me. I miss him so very much.


@Misprint dear misprint I’m sure you would of told jim you love him. Also he knew and knows just how much he means to you. The headstone sounds beautiful and to have your saying on it love you to the moon and back . Written in kisses. That is so special and I’m sure Jim is still so very proud of you. Sending hugs take care x