Thanks - that’s good. I like. You’ll get there.
@Lapizt & @Walan the future does become the main concern and clearly age has a real bearing on this, at a certain age (whatever that will be) the prospect of living life alone is not such a terrifying thought, I am 72, I don’t want a new partner and all the faff that goes with it, if it happens it happens but I’m certainly not pursuing the idea! I think circumstances also have a big influence on this decision, I continue to be able to live in our home that we fought tooth and nail for, our plan was to retire gracefully which we did 3 years ago, continue to mould our home and the land with it into what we wanted, if anything else of interest came along we would decide what to do at that time (we bought a motorhome) but we had no specific plans, not even a holiday booked, we were going to face life as it happened, that is still my philosophy, importantly, I believe my wife is with me in spirit and we will go forward together and I am content with this, however, if you are younger, maybe 10, 20 years then the future must be terrifying, you are still building your life, you will likely have big ambitions not to mention possibly years of work in front, to face this alone must be very daunting, so maybe finding a new partner to do this with is an option to be considered, to face this future on your own must be so hard and yet you have just lost the love of your life and now you have a guilt trip building up, so yes @Lapizt I understand your reasoning and from the tone of your post you are content with this, all you can do is to continue going forward with what you are comfortable with.
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Life/we, are continually evolving with or without grief, what we think and feel now may change and be different as time goes on. Age is no barrier, I have widowed friends late 70’s and in their 80’s who said they were content and didn’t want to meet anyone else or find love again, yet they did. I didn’t think I would lose my husband but it happened, nobody can say what will happen in the future as it’s not predictable. Thoughts/feelings change along with circumstances. I am a spiritual person and keep an open mind. Some people are happy to be alone, others are not but life throws curved balls in all directions at us and we have to deal with them as we feel at the time, just like coping with bereavement, it’s a choice in how we respond to it. My motto is it’s not what happens to us in life, it’s how we respond to it
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…life is what happens when we are busy making plans…as someone once said…me and my Sandie used to talk about how we always strived to get places in life…sometimes we did… sometimes not…but even when we got where we thought was perfect…it never lasts long…that’s life…as someone else once said…now she’s gone and I’m on my own…so nothing can ever be perfect again…
@LynT @UnityMan Two good posts, thank you.
Lyn, agree its how we respond to situations, and it is what we choose to do with curveballs/opportunities etc that may or may not come our way in the future.
I never thought I would be sat here alone at the age of 59, but I am, and I must deal with it.
@UnityMan Yes, I have heard that saying, and it is so true, we always ‘plan’ for the future, meanwhile life is passing us by, and then Bang! a sledgehammer comes down and buggers everything up. Things may not be perfect again, but sometimes ‘good’ is enough.
Best wishes to you both now, and in the future, whatever may come your way.
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Thank you.