2 yers on

My husband died almost 2years ago. I don’t know how I get through each day. I don’t want to be alive,I tried suicide but failed, oh how I wished it had worked, this grief never goes away. I can go days without seeing or speaking to somebody. The loneliness is all consuming. If anyone has an answer I would be so grateful

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Hi Mag,

I’m so sorry to hear that your husband died almost 2 years ago. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
    • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You mentioned that the loneliness you’re feeling is all consuming, which sounds really difficult and I’m sure the world situation over the past year or so has not helped. The NHS have some useful information about loneliness and sources of support here, which might be worth a look at: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/

You deserve care and support so please, Mag, get in touch with one of these services. Keep writing here if it helps - you’re not alone in this community and you will find plenty of kindness and support.

Take care,

Eleanor

Dear Mag,

I am so sorry for what you are going through and have been through but please do not give up hope of coming to terms with what has happened.

My husband of 47 years,( we were together 50 years and met in 1964 when he was 18 years old) died seven years ago. I found the second year to be worse than the first year as the first year was taken up with arranging things and non-stop paperwork. I could not even sort my husbands clothes and personal items out until the third year as I honestly though it was all one big mistake and he would be coming home and I did not want him coming home to find all his belongings gone.

I was existing, not living, as life without my husband was unbearable but gradually, by getting through one day at a time, tackling things that came along, making lists of what needed to be done and there was a lot of diy work that needed doing as our home had been neglected for the eight years my husband had been ill before he died, I found that I was getting through the days without crying.

Don’t get me wrong, after seven years alone, I still have my moments but I just get on with it. My life will never be the life I want as my life was my husband as this is a totally different way of living, from the moment I was born 79 years ago I have never been alone, I left my home where lived with my parents to marry my husband and until seven years ago, I never knew what it was like not to have someone looking after me.

I honestly would not wish this on my worst enemy.

There is nothing we can do about it but carry on the best way we can, putting one foot in front of the other. Two years is still very early on in your grief so don’t think there is something wrong because this is something you never get over, but it is something we have to live with and as you can see from all the postings on these forums, we are not alone so many of us are living lives we never expected to live.

Please take care.

Love
Sheila.x

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So sorry to hear about you. I am 2 years 17 days into losing my beautiful Wife of 40 years. She was my whole world. We had no children … but had each other. Now she has gone (at 59 !!!.. just cruel) what’s the point? I so understand. Try to be strong. Big hug x

Here I am again very early in the morning, wide awake and shaking knowing I have another lonely day ahead. I haven’t eaten a meal for months hoping to die. Look like a stick insect but still here. If I was a dog in such distress I would be put down, it’s not fair. Why is it getting worse rather than better? I miss Steve so much that I swear at him for leaving me. There must be an answer to such agony

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So sad. I understand completely. I drink whiskey as i am sure it will shorten my life. Like you, i need my beautiful Wife. Everybody tells me my Wife wouldn’t want me to be like this, and she wouldn’t. I didn’t want her to die, but she did. The pain is unbearable and i totally get how you feel. Take care.

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