20/08/22 Dad's 2nd Heavenly Birthday 💔

Losing a parent
1

14mths since my wonderful Dad passed and his 2nd Heavenly Birthday today :sob::broken_heart: I’d give anything to have him here or to have just one more day with him.

I’m feeling such a horrible person lately, feeling like I’m taking things out on Mum and my sister.

I’m an anxious person, an overthinker, a worrier for as long as I can remember, even when Dad was still here, but I just feel like everything’s piled on top of me because I just overthink, worry, think worse case scenario and I just put a lot of pressure on myself all of the time and it builds up and feels like everything’s on top of me and then I feel as though I’m letting it out on Mum and my sister as a sort of release.
I HATE how I am.

There’s a lot to this messed up mind of mine just lately and it’s such a lonely place to be.
I guess i expect too much of friends but I know that life moves on and the world keeps on spinning. I shouldn’t expect everyone to have the same heart as me. I don’t know what my point to this comment is as such, it’s just my brain in overdrive and overthinking etc. It’s what happens on the daily near enough.

Feeling trapped and lonely isn’t a nice place to be so, if any of you are feeling the same, I’m sending you lots of love.

I put on a mask 95% of the time when I’m around/with people or communicating via technology. Grief is ****, grief is hard, grief is difficult.

Anyways, I just needed to type this out on here.
I’m going to go visit Dad at the crem shortly and lay some flowers :bouquet:

Happy 2nd Heavenly Birthday Daddy Cool, what would’ve been your 67th birthday :broken_heart::purple_heart: love and miss you like crazy, to the moon and back xxx

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Hi @steffi88am21, I am so sorry to read about your Dad.

Bereavement counselling is well worth looking into if you haven’t already. It can often be a lot easier to talk with a professional counsellor about your feelings and bring some structure and order to your thoughts. I’m not sure if you are aware, but Sue Ryder offers a free bereavement counselling service. If you would like to find out more, you can do so here.

Sue Ryder also recently launched a Grief Self-Help Service which includes information, personal stories, and interactive tools designed to help you deal with your loss.

Keep reaching out and please know that we’re here for you.

Take care,

Mick

Online Community team

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Hi Mick, thankyou.

I’ve been having CBT for other issues but I may consider bereavement counselling. It was too soon to start it before, I wasn’t ready. I just keep everything to myself and always have done with a lot of things over the years so it’ll take a lot for me to take this next step if I do.

I appreciate your reply :slight_smile:

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