14mths since my wonderful Dad passed and his 2nd Heavenly Birthday today I’d give anything to have him here or to have just one more day with him.
I’m feeling such a horrible person lately, feeling like I’m taking things out on Mum and my sister.
I’m an anxious person, an overthinker, a worrier for as long as I can remember, even when Dad was still here, but I just feel like everything’s piled on top of me because I just overthink, worry, think worse case scenario and I just put a lot of pressure on myself all of the time and it builds up and feels like everything’s on top of me and then I feel as though I’m letting it out on Mum and my sister as a sort of release.
I HATE how I am.
There’s a lot to this messed up mind of mine just lately and it’s such a lonely place to be.
I guess i expect too much of friends but I know that life moves on and the world keeps on spinning. I shouldn’t expect everyone to have the same heart as me. I don’t know what my point to this comment is as such, it’s just my brain in overdrive and overthinking etc. It’s what happens on the daily near enough.
Feeling trapped and lonely isn’t a nice place to be so, if any of you are feeling the same, I’m sending you lots of love.
I put on a mask 95% of the time when I’m around/with people or communicating via technology. Grief is ****, grief is hard, grief is difficult.
Anyways, I just needed to type this out on here.
I’m going to go visit Dad at the crem shortly and lay some flowers
Happy 2nd Heavenly Birthday Daddy Cool, what would’ve been your 67th birthday love and miss you like crazy, to the moon and back xxx