21 Weeks

Losing a partner
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21 weeks today since you died. 21 weeks, wow! Seems a lifetime ago but 21 Sundays doesn’t seem much at all.

Life is moving on, this merry go round doesn’t stop for anything. Some days are really hard, some days are actually ok and I didn’t think I’d ever be saying that.

I’ve made some new friends, who share in my grief as I share in theirs. We can have a laugh and a joke, share memories and stories, which I thought would be impossible at the beginning.

Gosh, I miss you, don’t think that will ever change and I still cry buckets for you. I will always miss you but I get times now where a memory makes me smile and I can share stories of you, without deep sadness and lots of tears.

I know I have some hurdles to come but I also know I have a great support network of new friends, old friends and both our families to get me through.

I’m strong because of you, because of what we had, because of your support, encouragement and your love! Thank you!

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Well said @Ali29 I feel exactly the same.

Can’t believe it’s been 21 weeks. sometimes it feels like yesterday, others a lifetime ago but I know I’m getting stronger and am now starting to build a new life around my grief.

So grateful to all the new friends I have found to help me on this journey xx

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“If we live our lives never allowing ourselves to be happy we are wasting what our departed loved ones lost”.
Like @Ali29, @Doughtyj and the others I’ve met on this new journey I’m grateful for new friends, new strength and new adventures ahead (whatever they may be) whilst never forgetting those 25 years of happiness, love, pets, family, holidays, arguments, making up and all the other stuff :slight_smile: .

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@Ali29 what a beautiful post. A lovely tribute to your husband. It gives me hope for the future. 12 weeks for me so much earlier days than yourself.

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Im 38 weeks today and wouldnt be here without my new friends on this forum and my friends and family.
Beautiful words from you all but these in particular from @JustSomeBloke …“If we live our lives never allowing ourselves to be happy we are wasting what our departed loved ones lost”.
Love to all

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@Skip
Exactly, I live mine because he couldn’t live his. It’s not always easy but its better than the alternative.

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Im struggling with this but im trying. I love your inspiring posts @Ali29 xxx

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@skip I think that’s all we can do, is try x

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Well reading these posts is making me think I need to regroup my thoughts. It’s 11 weeks since my husband died and yes it’s difficult every day but as you say I need to try to live some sort of life as a tribute to the life he’s not able to live.

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@Jan150 You can do anything/everything at your own pace Jan. It’s not a race it’s a journey. Best wishes

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@Jan150 We are all on our own journey. 11 weeks is early days and I would not want anyone to feel any pressure from a post. You go at your pace, doing what you need to do to survive this.

I need to live my life for him but it doesn’t always go that way. Sunday, I cried for most of it but being able to reach out to friends I’ve made on here, helped me to recalibrate.

I do find some days good now, which makes me feel better and gives me hope for my future, whatever that may be.

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@Ali29 what a wonderful post to encourage each of us along this journey.

I lost my darling husband just over 14 months ago and if anyone has told me I would have happy days and laugh again when it happened I simply wouldn’t have believed it but I do.
There are still tears along the way and I strongly suspect there always will be for any of us.

Friends I have made here who have also lost their partner in life have made such a difference and I feel privileged to have them to travel with me so thank you to them.

To the newly bereaved, keep the trust that there is light ahead no matter how dark life seems now. We keep the love and use that to help us make a life.
As @JustSomeBloke so wisely put it, we owe it to our loved one to keep moving forwards taking that love with us. Let’s hold each other up as we do that.

I am lucky enough to have a faith which tells me that I will be back with my Richard one day but in the meantime I will look after all he created and cared about on this earth.
Love to all xxx

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@Ali29 what a beautiful post. It is 26 weeks since my husband passed. I have started to make new friends and have even booked a couple of day trips out. I know it is what my husband would have wanted me to do. It is hard some days but is getting easier. It is the strength that he had that gets me through. He always said I was stronger that I looked and that I would cope. I am so glad I haven’t disappointed him

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@Caw1
That is so lovely. Agree, some days are hard but I owe it to him to not waste my life and I don’t want to be defined by grief. He gave me the strength and encouragement to take on anything when he was alive. This is the biggest challenge he’s set me, to move on without him. I’ve got to do the best I can.

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