I have no words for you Helen as i am living your life. There are no words to help us its complete devestation and life is pointless and meaningless to me without Luca. All i can say is i know what you are going through every living day. Love to you any time xxxx
Hi Tonia, my boy wasnāt a good boy by far, but he brought the room to life when he was here, and miss that so much, when I go and visit him, just canāt believe it is Daniel, just cry before I even get to him, all day, at night when in bed, Daniel is there, I just wish I could have a sign, just to be happy for that one day, so nice to talk to someone knowing how Iām feeling , not that I would wish this on anyone love to you x
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How old was Daniel?. I am completly lost without Luca here, i cant explain but i want him to be living and seeing everything for himself not just me, he is missing so much and will do. His dad and i dont believe there is any after life, but i still ask him to come to me and put my hand out by side of sofa or my bed for him to hold it. here if you want to talk but i am not much use but i understand you. I talk to another lady she lost her daughter two years ago and suffers still the same as you and i, Do you have a partner or husband to support you and look after you. Mine is fantastic and he knows i am only here because of him but i struggle with that . He says he could not cope if i went aswell. I can only sned a hug and like you wish we were not talking because then our beautiful children would be here. You know what i mean. I always get in bed and say please dont let me wake up or i say let me die early and not live long. Hug to you i am here to talk xxxx
Love and hugs to you all. I really wish I didnāt have to say I can understand how you all feel but I do. I donāt want to be here but have to think of my other 2 children even though selfishly I really want to be with Hannah.
I know I am still in shock even 3 months later and struggle with an almost empty mind as though I have no memories except for the present day/time. Everything just overwhelms me and I get terrified of the thought I trying to resume some sort of real life after lockdown is lifted. I canāt bear the thought of having to try and live a ānormalā life.
Hannah was my life and we shared such an incredibly close bond. The fact that this can happen - you go to bed a normal family and a few hours later your whole world is totally destroyed with no warning. I have to make sure I belive the medical professionals that Hannah wouldnāt have known a thing aboug the ruptured aneurysm and subsequent subarachnoid haemorrhage- it would have been catastrophic and she would have gone instantly. I hate myself for not looking in on her before I went to work. She would have been awake and she was messaging her friend making arrangements to meet up.
I am really struggling to find a reason to carry on. I know I have her sister and brother but it is still difficult. Love amd hugs to you all xxx
My son was 35, and yes I have a partner, is Daniel stepson, I really donāt no how I would have gone on without him, for 3 months I just sat a starred , didnāt want to see anyone, I close my eyes and the reality of him not here anymore is overwhelming, which you both must feel, I to donāt believe anything after death as I to talk and try to get a sign heās still here, my life will never be the same as I sure you to wonāt never, love to u both
Dear @Anne64
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter. I too lost my 22 year old son suddenly. I found him unresponsive in his bed. Paramedics estimate he passed away appx 3 hours before. Iām desperately sad we were never given the opportunity to attempt CPR, our precious boy was cold. The experience has been harrowing & traumatic. My husband, my other son & I desperately tried to wake him, knowing deep down he had gone. The sounds of our screams & desperation will haunt me forever. I miss my boy every second of every day. I have to carry on for my other son, like you for your daughter and son. Not only are we as parents bereft & grieving we are helplessly try to support our surviving children. Surviving being the operative word, that is just what we are doing. Itās not living, our lives are over without him in it 
When I was 5 mum took her own life, followed by my gran 4 months later (her mum). Life is so very sad a life time of grieving without our beautiful children.
Iām so sad for all of us. Sending love and strength xx
IA am 14 months on from losing Luca suddenlt to. Life is hell, i can on ly do a day at a time and cry for him every dad. I dont live i am surviving. If it was not for my husband i would not be here. I go to bed every night lay my head on pillow and say please dont let me wake up. Then the next rotton day comes without Luca in it. Hug to you all.
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Dear Tonia, I am so sorry to read that life is still so difficult for you more than a year after your lovely son Luca died. You love him so much, and the pain of him not being here must be unbearable. We can only hope that in time the pain gets a bit less and you are able to live a little, because your Luca would have wanted you to do that. I know itās a cliche, but I donāt really know what else to say to you, itās just so sad what happened to you.
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No, there is nothing to say,its sheer agony. love to you all xxx
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Lots of love to you and your husband too, Tonia, whenever you want to talk about your Luca, weāre here to listen to you, we wonāt let him be forgotten. Hugggsss.
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Thankyou for your kind words. love to you all who have lost children too. hug xxxx
Hello,
I came across this topic and chat whilst trying to find help support guidance. I lost my beautiful 25 year old daughter 8 weeks ago. It was sudden and traumatic having to preform CPR until the paramedics arrived. Everyone seems so brave on here and I can feel a connection that you understand what this whole grief time process is.
Mrsmac
Dear Mrsmac
Iām so sorry youāve had to join us here and youāre without your lovely daughter.
I lost my son nearly two years ago and the road had been hard. Iāve found this site a lifesaver with such brave parents offering support.
Just take each hour at a time. Be kind to yourself and donāt worry about how you feelā¦ grief is very personal.
I found meditation helpful and I still meditate each day if I can. I felt I was going mad at timesā¦the shock and disbeliefā¦not sleeping, not interested in anythingā¦ Henry was all I could focus onā¦
Very slowly, things have settled and my grief sleeps like a monster inside me. 
Iām sending you love and a hug.
Purple x
Dear mrsmac,was sent this message and read you had read my messages after losing my beautiful Luca,two years two months ago now. I know you are broken,I still cry for Luca every day,I survive each day through my husband only . I cannot stand the thought Luca is not here with us,itās torture for me. His ashes sit next to me on sofa ,I am completely lost every day. As my husband says,day at a time only .people say to me are you ok I always say no I am not. I will never be ok without Luca,to hear his voice,see his beautiful face,he would of been 23 July gone,he passed on his 21 at birthday suddenly too. There are no words I am a different person completely . Days go by I think just what is the point to anything. Life is so not fair I just want Luca here with us every single minute of every single day. I still go to bed and say please donāt let me wake up. Life is a struggle,two years on and I still cannot believe this has happened to me. I can offer no advise just do day at a time as I do and when someone say are you ok,if you are not say no,donāt say otherwise. Cry,scream for your child if you want,we miss them so so bad.hug to youxx
Thank youā¦itās going to be a long road without Laura. But having people who have experienced this loss is very comforting. Thank you x
Toniaā¦.thank you for your reply. It comforts me to know in all this tragedy parents can unite. I came across a quote
ā in the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a childā
Also people from the outside looking in you can never understand and from the inside looking out you can never explain.
Being connected to mums who have lost our children has given me some strength today to cope.
Thank you
Mrsmac
We are bound together in this club we are so desperate not to be in. I am glad this site has given you a little strength to survive each day. I cannot give any advise as I cannot help myself in my loss without my beautiful Luca. I do hope you have good family support as I do with my brilliant husband. He puts no pressure on me and looks after me. You donāt have to thank me,we are all struggling together in this unfair world. Hug
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Iām sorry sorry for all your loses, I lost my son 2 years ago, even now I canāt talk about my son to people , thatās just makes it real, even tho I no, heās not with me anymore, the pain is hard, I message him every morning, on messenger , let him no what we are all doing and how heās daughter is doing , it take a long time, just live day to day, some days I donāt want to be here anymore, but I keep busy, that I find best, my love to you all
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Helen, I to go into lucas room open his blind, saying morning to him, heās got a wall full of animate japanese books, he collected them. I kiss them, touching them, pressing my face on them. I open his wardrobe gather his t. Shirts in my arms and Bury my face into them crying. I tell him whatās happening etc but when I do I hurts because I hate talking like that because it makes it real that he is not here. I have days where I avoid looking at pictures of him I have up because like you I think then this has not happened, its not real, heās going to come back. I cuddle the last t. Shirt he wore its with me on sofa. All we want is our child back nothing else in the world. Itās so difficult everyday. For my beautiful luca. I talk about luca because I am proud. I talk about luca because even though heās not physically with me, he is never from my mind. I talk about luca because heās part of me, a part I could never ignore or disown. I talk about luca because I still love him and always will forever, nothing will change that. I love and desperately miss you luca. Mumā¤ļø. Nothing mends a broken heart hug
I really wish I could be like you, talk about my Daniel, but I canāt , I canāt even look at photos , I donāt want to believe he is not here anymore, by my sending him a message everyday, in my head Daniel is on holiday but in my heart I no heās not, done days I am so strong and other day the reality of it hits me hard, I would swop places with Daniel in a flicker if I could, I just miss Daniel so must like you do, we are all in this together and this should never have happened to anyone , losing a child is the painful thing in my life, you take care helen