You are fine doing what you are doing to help you get through each day, I to think luca is on holiday and he’s coming home. We would give anything to have them back including our own life. Is so unfair and cruel. We all have our coping stratagies to get through the day, you just do what you need to do as I do. No pressure, I put no pressure on myself I am so different now as you are. I found counselling did not help at all it made it worse. I am on meds and I have ptsd disorder, I constantly pick at my skin its in a bad way, Gary my husband is constantly pulling my hands away from my skin. I can only send a hug x
That must be terrible doing that to yourself, like you said we all want our child back, my son was in spain , he rang me everyday, he rang me at work on the 20 th of November, and I will never forget he words, he was so looking forward coming home after 6 month he was so happy and never heard from Daniel again it just breaks my heart that he was all alone, when it happened, it’s just a living nightmare for me, hopefully we can be here all for each other to help, much love helen
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I lost my beautiful daughter July 15th to pancreatic cancer. She was dancer . Beautiful ballerina. She taught dance. She loved what she did . She was born to dance. I traveled the world with Laura she’s my middle child. My daughter & son are doing there best to support me . But there pain is as immense as mine . We’d been apart for some years. I got her back only to lose her again
Hi Maggie
The pain is immense and sometimes you can’t think. It’s been 8 weeks since my daughter Laura passed away unexpectedly. I hope you find some solace in connecting with other mums who have lost children.
Each day can be a struggle. Plenty of friends and family have now gone off radar for me since the funeral. So I hope you have a good support network. Take one day at a time and cry if you need too and laugh too at any memory that makes you. How many people ask if you are ok or fine? Isn’t that the silliest question.
you’ve got this x
Hi Maggie, so sorry for your loss of your daughter, we are all going though the heartache of losing our child, the heartache is unbearable at times , it’s been nearly 2 years since I lost my son, and it just hit me like a hammer, the pain never goes away you just learn to live with it, ny thought are with you and the pain your going thought, hugs to you helen
I can only send hug,I am going of line from this now which I have done few times in the two years my beautiful Luca went because I get to a point where it’s to real for me on here and I just cannot cope. I am to broken. 
. Yellow is luca’fav colour from little. Hug
Have just read your story. Lucas was a warrior. . Love & blessings sent to you x I feel the same I would swap places with my daughter in a whisper
Ahug to you Maggie, your note poppeped up in my emails. This is torture for us and I struggle every min of everyday without my beautiful luca, as you do too. M much love
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Hi. I also lost my daughter suddenly in July she was 50 and mother to my three beautiful grandchildren age 27, 18 and 15. We are all struggling with the festive season. My heart aches. And I question how she can be there one day and gone the next. No illness no warning
OMG Lynn. How absolutely devastating. No illness just snatched from you . You & your beautiful grandchildren devastated. Each time I open this site . My heart breaks. Praying for you & your family xx
Thank you for your kind thoughts Maggie. It’s going to be a hard Christmas this year.
Dear All.
I am so sorry to hear of all your losses. I am not sure if this post is still live but I have just lost my daughter who was just 19. I am not coping at all, I would not have been able to easily understand how painful losing a child was before it happened to me I don’t think anyone can unless they have lost a child. The pain is unbearable. Any advice or thoughts very welcome the only thing I have found that helps at the moment is walking with a friend or having to do a task for my beautiful daughter. Andy X
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Hello Andy5,
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for coming on here. It really helped me and still does to talk with other parents who have lost adult children. I am nearly a year down this path of grief and I know my grief has changed but the pain and loss are still huge.
Take each day don’t plan ahead and if you don’t feel like doing anything don’t. Be kind to yourself even though it’s hard. You are doing amazing walking …I couldn’t even get out of the house and some days they still are but I can push through them now.
Grief will come and go don’t fight it just go with it. There is a poem that starts Take my grief…and it says Take it for a couple of days and then you will know what it feels like. Its exhausting and uncontrollable. We all grieve at differently and that’s the most important thing to remember. I had online counselling too. It helped so much…
Here for you…
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Dear Andy
I’m so sorry you’ve joined us bereaved parents. Losing your daughter is so cruel. 
You will be in shock, so be kind and gentle to yourself. Take every hour at a time. Your grief is so raw.
I lost my younger son Henry in October 2019…just after his 30th birthday. My whole world imploded, nothing made sense or had any meaning. I couldn’t go out, couldn’t drive or sleep or really have meaningful conversations.
I started to meditate to control the panic attacks….highly recommend it.
The journey can’t be rushed, life is different but you will eventually find a way to accommodate your grief. We are all together walking it with you so don’t be afraid to keep posting.
I hope you have support around you.
Big hugs
Purple
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Thank you Purple and Mrsmac for your advice and kind words.
I will look at the meditation have not done that before but could be really helpful.
Andy X
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I wanted to post this poem. I hope it doesn’t offend.
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Any poems really welcomed.
Andy X
Take my grief
Do you want my grief
Please for a moment
Take it please
Hold it next to your heart
Feel it burn and tear you apart
Please I beg you
Ease my mind
Give me sleep for just one night
Get the flashbacks the heart stopping pangs
The helplessness from loosing my way
Can you feel my grief?
Hold it close
It will bring you to your knees
Your soul will yell it will scream
Can hear it bellow while it takes your peace
Your body aches your mind stands still
You live in the past where things were real
Help me friend
I ask of you
Take this grief
For a day or two
Just long enough so I can clear my head
So I can pretend my child’s not dead
Written by Charla Norman
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Thank you so much for the poem it’s the closest one I have seen to how I feel.
I am crying everyday probably a dozen times a day especially in the morning when you have been asleep and you believe you are going to see your loved one and realise the reality, it’s like ground hog day.
I am trying to eat and sleep properly go out for walks etc and although I have other wider family it doesn’t seem to help, you feel so alone, when you are not alone and just so broken. I don’t know how long this will go on for but it’s exhausting in its own right.
Many thanks for all your understanding.
Andy x
Hello…
It is something you have no control over. I thought I would never stop crying or feeling so horrible. If I tried explaining to family how I felt they would end up talking about themselves. So I gave up. I did have counselling with sue ryder and it did help me to talk uninterrupted about me how I was feeling. Please explore this avenue when you can.
I am 48 weeks down this sad path and some days I cope now. Other days it’s torture. Now I am approaching the 1st anniversary and I don’t know where the year has gone. My sister has been the most distant person at a time I needed her most. I am alone in my grief now.
Just remember this grief is like carrying a heavy rucksack at first it hurts so much but in time you adjust to the weight and learn to carry it even though its as heavy and still hurts.
Take care of yourself. X