25th wedding anniversary

This April would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. I wish jim was here to celebrate it as we had planned. I feel i want to celebrate the day anyway is that wrong? Am i being silly?. . I want cards and flowers but i know that wont happen more a day of reflection. Any ideas of how i can honour the day without being over the top.

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Hi @Misprint,
For father’s Day, I usually dedicate a tree from the national forest , in Doug’s name, from me and our children and grandchildren.
Usually on wedding anniversaries and birthday’s I get something for our garden, a plant, garden lights or an ornament. Doug loved the garden it was his favourite place and I still get him cards and add them to out memory box after.
The year he died I planted a flowering cherry tree, it flowers every march the month he died and lasts until our wedding anniversary. We were married in April too, 45 years this year.
Debbie x

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It would be our 30th in May and we had intended to throw a party. I like the idea of commemorating it in some way though, thanks @Debbie57 and @Misprint for the idea.

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Hi @KarenF
As Doug’s ashes were scattered in the sea at Looe, I’ve no where local to go, so I have ordered a bench from our town council with a memorial plaque on in his name.
It’s going to be put in the park, where he spent many hours watching our son play football. It will be somewhere close by the whole family can go.
I did scatter a small amount of ashes in our garden, so I have a bit of him still close to me.
Debbie x

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Debbie do you know when bench is being put at park would love to see it x

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My late wife was desperate that we celebrated our Golden Wedding Anniversary, which would have been on August 5th of last year. Sadly, she died on April 16th.
Hospitalised and as a retired nurse, she was well aware that being relocated to a single bed ward, meant she was moving onto palliative care and dying.
She continually apologised to me that we wouldn’t be together to celebrate those 50 years. It breaks my heart.
Missing the one person I made so many memories with, I don’t set much store on having them; without her, they’re empty, colourless.
I’d intended to spend the day alone with my thoughts but my daughter had planned a lunch out.
I didn’t want to but felt it would have upset her to refuse, she was thinking of me I’m sure.
We raised a glass but my heart really wasn’t in it.
In marking birthdays and anniversaries, I think it best if people do whatever they feel is right for them.

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Hi @Misprint ,
I’m waiting to hear from the council, they said it would take about two months, if I don’t hear by end of January I will email them. I’ll let you know.
Debbie X

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Hi @yrhengof ,

You are right we all have to find our own way of coping with anniversaries, birthday’s and public holidays. It’s not easy.
But I’m very much aware it’s not just my loss, our children have lost their dad and grandad for our grandchildren. They feel the loss and are grieving too.
Losing Doug has brought us so close together as a family.
But you must do what’s right for you.
Sending love
Debbie x

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Hi @Misprint ,

Just had an email from the council, the guy that installs has been off ill over Christmas and only just come back. It has been made and is in storage, they waiting for the ground to unfreeze so they can dig footings. Hopefully it will be within the next month, they have another memorial bench to put the other side of the park too. Doug’s is going to be on the doctor’s side near the play area.
I’ll let you know when I get a definite date.
Debbie x

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Thanks mate xx

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Hi @Misprint ,

I had an email from the council earlier, the bench was installed today. I haven’t been to see it yet as I was off work today. But going with my son and daughter tomorrow afternoon. I got very emotional when the email came, it’s just another reminder he’s not coming back.
Debbie x

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Thats wonderful news mate I’ll go have a look at it. Whereabouts is it ?

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It will be such a wonderful tribute to your lovely Doug though Debbie. Xx

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@Debbie57 understand the tears but it will be a place to go and sit, knowing he is still giving to others. Hugs xxx

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Be lovely for you to have somewhere to sit and feel close to Doug x

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It’s in the rec, on saffron road side of the park, not far from the play area.

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Thank you @JaneyS and @KarenF , it’s situated in the place he used to go and watch our son play football as a youngsters every Saturday and most Sundays. Also my son would say, often put the referee right on bad decisions he made.
Debbie x

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