27year old son drowned

I’m sorry but I’m not too sure why I joined your group my son drowned 4 years ago he was 27 and we don’t know how he came to be in the water
I have struggled to come to terms with it ,he had problems with prescription drugs and other issues
He was discharged from the navy
I have always blamed myself for not trying harder to help him more
I cry most days even 4 years on
I think about him constantly
I hide a lot from my wife because I know she feels the same as me so I don’t want to upset her mor ,she had counselling I didn’t
I drink more I am more emotional than I have ever been and I sometimes struggle to cope
I would just like to add that I am sorry for all your losses and truly know how you feel

Been here to talk to other people in this club will help, they really are the only one’s who understand we lost our son just over a year ago drink wasn’t the cause but it did contribute a he’ll of a lot, I know how you feel about not putting extra pressure on your wife they are struggling too, always here to listern.

I’m sorry. I’m here to listen too. No one be from the forces gets the aftercare abd help they should! It’s so not fair. Both my sins died one aged 33 and one aged 36 … it’s just not the natural order of things. I only take one hour at s time … it’s all I can do. I know they would want us to live in abd I am sure your son would too. It’s just so hard. I understand I wish I could help. Hugs, Sue

Thank you, I would say it’s taken a year to realise our son would not want me to drink like I did hurting both my wife and other son.when you lose someone so close as you have it’s very hard to be logical and carry on but we have to.

We do have to carry on somehow. It all seems pointless sometimes in spite of the others in our lives but slowly slowly we inch our way forward. I dont want wake up in the morning but I do. Somehow we have to become a new person ., grow round that terrible grief but keep our children safely there inside us. It’s very overwhelming and confusing. I guess we have to make that decision to live a different life …, but change is hard, so hard. Together …, with the understanding of each other …, maybe we can do this. Sue

Thanks for all you kind words
We are all having to deal with grief of the absolute worst imaginable
I hope you are dealing with it as best you can
Personally through 2013/14 we had to deal with the deaths of 4 family members my son being the last of these , how we coped is beyond me but coped we did
I coped with the deaths of my parents but still struggle with my sons death , it is just not the order of things
I try to stay strong for my 2 other children and for my 2 grandchildren one of which is my sons
Sometimes I just don’t want to be here but I will keep going I still have a lot to live for , and I say to you all keep going stay as strong as you can ,remember your child , you will cope somehow
My love and best wishes go out to you all

Your word’s are so true, I think one of the hard part’s is reaching that point and trying to let people know you will never forget it only gets easier when you learn to manage the lose and go on for yourself and the rest of your close family.

True words. I was jus learning to manage th loss of my first son I think … and realise that I had to grow round this kiss when my other son died after four days in hospital. I am not coping anywhere near as well this second time. But I know I have to … somehow. I wish none of us here knew this pain. Always here to talk. Sue

Sue I can imagine the pain you must feel losing 2 children my heart goes out to you
Try and keep strong and remember them
Your in my thoughts

Thank you Kevin x