It’s 2 years today from my lovely beautiful kind son left this world. I didn’t think it possible to live with this amount of pain but I’m here. I don’t know that it’s living though, more surviving, getting through each day. The loneliness is awful. But so is the pain when I think of the life he should be living. He worked for the emergency service, he loved it. So gentle, compassionate and such a zest for life. Why I’m here and not him I don’t know. I remember everything about this morning then. The police knocked the door at 10:30am and my life stopped. I’m going now to place flowers on his grave and have a chat. I wish I had someone to go with. I’ll be thinking of you all, we all carry this pain 
Orchard, you will not be alone, so many of us will be thinking of you and feeling for you. Bless you and take care. xxx
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It is 3 years since my daughter died. The pain never goes. Wishing you peace may come to you xx
No moggles, I think I’ve known that from the day he died. Even though I was in shock I kept saying “I can’t fix this, I can’t bring him back”. I think time just enables us to learn to live some sort of life while being in this amount of pain. Which for most of us means getting through each day. We mourn their lost lives, our.lost lives. I no longer feel part of this world. We don’t fit in with what people consider normal life. Thank you for your contact. I send you love 
Hello Orchard, you have just written how I feel, it doesn’t go away, it can’t, so we learn to live with it. I do hope you didn’t cry to much yesterday but that you had a lovely chat with your daughter and Tolbert about everything you have done and hope to do. We scattered my husbands ashes and I have to be careful because someone always stops and ask me if I am ok but next time I go it will be to see the seat with his name on which will be nice. Never feel alone there’s always someone thinking of you. Bless you.