3:00am Club

Technically for me it’s 4:00 as I’m in Italy, but anyway hello my fellow insomniacs.

Another sleepless night, after another horrible day. Sorry to start this with such a dour message but that’s how it is for me.

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Feel free to write anything here, talk about your grief, general struggles or small victories. I find the nights unbearable as I know so many do. So if you’re awake feel free to say hi. :heart:

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@JonnyBadger
Hi Jonny
Yeah whatever is it about this time of day that my body/mind wants to be awake for? It’s cold and dark and quiet. Oh well time to get up, get a hot drink, watch catch up TV till I fall asleep again. I just need noise on and that generally helps.
Hope you get back to sleep soon.

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Yep… background noise certainly helps, the duller the better.

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Yes I’m a member of the 3 am club too Haven’t slept a wink yet, got to try and get to work by 9, which I’m only doing to distract me.
Nights are hell. Tried sleep tea sleep sounds more tea, half a diazepam tablet, silence. Nothing helps,the only thing would be to have my husband in bed with me.
I’ve got his spurs shirt that I’m cuddling up to . My heart goes out to all of you going through the same torture xx

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I have been trying to catch up on my studies, but I just end up reading the same bit over and over because no matter how much I try I can’t concentrate. It’s an hour ahead here, so no sleep for me again.

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Hi jonny
I struggle at nights being on my own the tv is on but its just noise , the house is cold all the time, i try to think he wouldnt want me to cry all the time but emotions get the better of me, we get to visit it Paul in the funeral home on monday which is such a long way away try to keep strong everyone xx

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3:00am hello to anyone still awake, I hope not.

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I have to have background noise or I can’t sleep so I totally agree

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Good luck @MissLEH, fingers crossed you wont be in the 3:00am club tonight, it’s the one club that’s best when there are fewer members.

Xx

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Hi Lynne,
I’m really sorry to hear of your all too familiar struggles. I now ‘live’ most of my time in the bedroom chair I occupied for the last 5 weeks of my wife’s battle with cancer. It’s where I feel closest to her. I rely on an electrically heated throw so I don’t have to bother heating the rest of the house.
The tv and tears, the despair are my only companions too. Im only just ahead of and don’t even know what I don’t know so I’m not much help but I will offer this…

After more than 3 weeks I finally got to visit Jill in the funeral home last Thursday and spent a quiet hour or so with her before the funeral the day after. I just sat and talked to her Talked about anything, good memories, apologies for things I think I got wrong, thanks for the good times and I said my goodbyes prior to the funeral. It helped. Not much I’ll admit, but it did help.
I hope Monday, awful as it might be, gives you even a little comfort too.

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Thanks for your reply, i hope if dose to , iam scared of seeing him , but know i need to do this i feel for you and your lose xx

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You too Lynne. I see you’re still with in the 3am club. Hopefully things later today really do help. Honestly, I chose the closed coffin route so I really admire it if you go open route as I know I could never have been that strong

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I will try to be thankyou x

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Yep, 3am club here too

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I hope you’ve managed today .

Apologies if I suggested you need strength to get through seeing him, tears and abject sobbing, despair and anger are fine too. Whatever works.

By now you have probably seen him, talked to him. I hope it has helped.

Keep reaching out to others for their support - something I find nearly impossible to be honest, particularly now I’ve had the funeral. People will, get caught up in their own lives and need reminding that you’re struggling. It’s ok to tell them. Too difficult for me it seems but please try it yourself. Good luck.

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I have been and iam so glad i did Paul look so at peace , ive told him off , told how much i love everything , he didnt want a funeral service so he is getting that wish , friends are already thin on the ground his daughter has been a great strength , if you need to rant or anything else i will always reply, take care

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Well done Lynne, Im so glad it’s helped, that you’ve seen Paul and been able to say some of the things you needed to say…
Im also really happy his daughter has been such a strength - you’ll need each other going forward.
We’d let friends and family slip away without even realising it, too caught up in the battle with cancer (sounds like a lot of us on here have done the same) so we just had a small service and cremation - but I was surprised to see more people than I’d expected. However you say goodbye to Paul it’ll always be far too bloody soon but it’ll also be the right way too.
There’s a big risk that now it’s over I’m going to hide myself away, not ask for help, a let people slip away again. Don’t make the same mistake.
You’ve done great today, it’s helped so you know you can cope. Remember that.

All too horribly familiar, though I’ve not even got work to distract me and It’s a pillow not a Spurs shirt. I did finally make it to sleep about 5am but was awake again by 7am For the first time I actually fell back to sleep until 10 - no help but it means there’s a bit less of today to get through.
Scant consolation is it.

Hope we all find whatever we need to get us through this

Thankyou for such lovely words