In 2023 my Dad died with cancer. In 2024 my childrens father who I was still close with, took his own life. And a year later my mum got acute pancreatitis and passed away in august 2025.
Im struggling to cope with all 3, im 34. My mum and. Dad’s death dates are 6 days apart too.
Im falling apart right now. Taking it out on people closest to me. I dont want to be like this but I just can’t find joy in anything anymore.
Does anyone have any advice on how to shake these feelings or maybe not bottle them up so much idk
Hi Sz. So sorry for your losses. It really a lot to deal with. I lost my partner Theresa in March, we had been together 35 years and it’s really hard for me, I just deal with it one day at a time. If you have family or friends around you try and talk to them, also keep coming on this site as there will be people on here who have went through the same situation as yourself "losing more than one ". They will help you. Take care
Hello Stripedzebra, so very sorry for the loss of so many family members, ..you are my daughters age, she has 2 children…i know it must be so hard for you to take care of yourself and your children when you are grieving, do you have other family members around you to help out, maybe someone to watch the kids once in awhile, join a bereavement group nearby, how are your kids coping? ..please take care and keep posting, talk about whatever you want to were here to listen and hopefully offer you some advice. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
I lost my mam 2 years ago the same week as my uncle ,my dad 11 months after than a year later (both with long termillness) my husband became very depressed for the first time, and cut al long story short took his own life in June.
I wish I had the magic answer but I’m still struggling. It way too much for anyone to go through and I imagine they were your support and love when they were there like mine. Mam was my best friend
Talking definitely helps and as someone mentioned this site helps. I hope you’re getting professional help for your breavment. Im just started mine on session number 2 and it is helping. Your helping yourself now in reaching out.
You’re not alone and there is help out there.. stick in there and i do believe we learn to cope better.
Take care of yourself and keep talking x
Hello StribedZebra, I am sorry for your losses. I lost 3 close family members (uncle, my beloved Mum, brother-in-law) and my Mum’s best friend within a year. I have said it was the worst year of my life. Mum and I always lived together. My Dad died when I was 19. It is hard as Mum was my rock. My uncle was my support network. So I felt that my life as I knew it had changed. I take it a day at a time, cry when I need to and accessed counselling. I make use of this site. I definitely think that you should let your children’s school know so that they can ‘look out’ for your children, as they will pick up on your sadness.
I had some support from family but I broke down last week and ruined those relationships. My mums anniversary is tomorrow and I’d really hoped they’d be there.
I had been trying to express my feeling as much as I could and told people when I was triggered by certain things but they just kept on doing it. For example my cousin is estranged from her dad and she likened my dad’s death to her situation and shows no empathy, she has a strained relationship with her mum but also says that situation is the same as mine.
Even though we were sat at her mums dinner table for xmas when she said this.
This is my first time trying to reach out. I dint want to burden anyone else with my problems.
Sadly my 13 yo daughter has started self harming since her dad passed
I have my stepdad who is a great help but he’s 70 so not like he can do much.
Im jusy so lost I dont know how I feel my hearts breaking for so many different reasons at once
Well done in reaching out. My relationship with my sister who started to drink after my husband death is under a lot of strain. People are going through there own issues. All I can suggest is you look after yourself first.
Get some professional help such as talking therapy or counselling. I can also recommend smaritain they really helped me. You can tell things to them you can’t say to family or friends.
Hope your daughter will get the right support aswell. Its all about expressing feelings i suppose and having a outlet for us all..please keep reaching out. This site has help me . Your not alone in navigating your grief alone
I’m so sorry to hear about your parents and your children’s father. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel a bit lost and not know where to start.
I know others have already offered their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
Our Grief Guide is free from other distractions, where you can find self-help tools, including an online journal and memory box, and has information to help you cope with grief.
We also offer online bereavement support through a stepped care model that is currently in a pilot. You’ll begin with a short digital form to understand what support may be suitable for you right now, and this may include a focused online video counselling session with one of our professional counsellors and further sessions, if appropriate.
I’m also really sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with self-harm. We know that grief can be so painful to cope with. But it’s important that you reach out for support with this; you matter and you don’t have to do all of this alone.
Shout is contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything, and so can your daughter, as the service supports under-18s too.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
idk 
