3 months today I lost my wife friend and I soul mate, someone told me to expect a really bad emotional reaction around this stage, they weren’t wrong, so far I’ve coped, went back to work and just after the new year, apart from the frequent waves and tsunamis of emotions, this is the worst I have ever felt, I knew it was going to be a long tough journey! For anyone else feeling like this, you have my sympathys and thoughts in this tough time 
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So sorry for your loss. My wonderful husband passed away close to 4 months ago. So far the 3rd and going on 4th month has been horrible. The shock and numbness has worn off and reality sets in. My heart goes out to you!!! Stay strong
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I’m at the 4 month mark and I thought I was doing ok previously, but I’m on my knees. I’ve literally spent the whole day crying.
How can I face the prospect of another 30 or 40 years without him? I’m devastated.
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I lost my husband 3 months ago , and still miss him so much ,we were together 25 years
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We are all in the situation, it’s so hard to get through each day, I don’t know what your situations are, but for me the hardest part is coming home from work, empty cold dark house, however, I’m not going to give in to this, it’s not what she would want me to do, likewise I’m sure your partners would be saying the same, it was one of the last things she said to me, “don’t give up, live our lives to the full, and never forget I love you” those words will carry me through this, so please do whatever you the same, as hard as it is now and it is hard, live the best life you can for them, I’m going to, it will take some time but I’m not giving up on her words!
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thank you for your reply
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Sorry for your loss. We are all on this terrible journey. The hardest for me is in the mornings. I wake up and he’s not by my side. I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to him. He unexpectedly died. He had a massive heart attack and I found him in his office chair dead. I know he would want me to go on, but my heart is broken.
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10 months for me I don’t know how I’ve got this far (3 boys still at home probably how)
It gets worse
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Sorry for your loss. It seems to get harder instead of easier.
Completely agree he was 52 and he went suddenly and unexpectedly in Belgium on a veterans bike tour.
Sending love
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That is terrible. I never thought I would be going through this at age 56. It’s difficult to see happy couples laughing when I’m out. That should be me and my husband. Sending hugs.
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I’m so sorry for everyone who goes through this awful nightmare which doesn’t seem has any ending.
I’m quite relieved I’ve read these posts because my gorgeous wonderful man passed just after Christmas Day with pancreatic cancer, I thought I was getting on quite well considering but then !BAM! Last weekend I started to feel almost the worst I’d ever felt… so many thoughts and emotions running through me…. And cry!!! I could barely stop…. After reading all your posts I feel quite normal and not the emotional wreck I thought I was…. Although I know it’s very very sad and heartbreaking for all of us but thank you 
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So sorry for your loss, my wife died on December 14th, I also thought I was coping and doing well all things considered, then, as you said “Bam” I’ve just been to the doctors, she was the doctor my wife alway saw, I’ve never known a doctor to cry at the same time as the patient! But it helped that someone really understood my situation, hopefully the new meds will allow me to sleep more than an hour or so I as well as help with the emotional wreck I have just become, to everyone here, stay strong get help from anywhere you can, I’m here for anyone who wants to talk, we are all at about the same stage in this awful place 
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Thanks to everyone for the support. Here I thought once I got past the funeral I would be ok. Then the tidal wave knocked me over on my 3 almost 4 months of my husband being gone. This is the most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with, but it helps getting support from this site. We will all find the strength to get through this terrible journey.
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I’m so sorry @blighty5531 for what you’re going through - sorry for all of us.
I just hit the 4 month mark and I also feel like it’s getting worse rather than better. I think it’s because the longer he’s away, the more I miss him, and I expect it will be that way for a while.
Some days it’s all I can do to get out of bed. Finding it hard to care about much of anything. It all seems so hollow and pointless.
But my family and friends are amazing, and I’m grateful for the glimmers of humour and hope that occasionally peek through the clouds.
We don’t have to be ok right now. We just have to keep going
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Mourningbird, I at least had twenty years of happiness, I really feel for you, having this awful thing happen to you so soon after finding the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with must be so hard to bear! I have lots of wonderful memories to help me, you, sadly have the future that hasn’t happened, not helpful, but I still hoped for a future full of memories, all I can offer is, it will get better, the pain will lessen and the gaps between sadness will get longer, at least I hope so, I send you an emotional support hug, stay strong, and climb every mountain that you can!
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One more thing, when you do climb one of those mountains, remember who is belaying for you, they will be there when you need them most! In my darkest moments it has been her that was there to keep me safe!
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Thank you, I appreciate that so much. I do feel very short-changed, having had so little time with him, especially given that so much of it was clouded by his mental health issues.
But you’re right about him still being there for me, especially when I’m out climbing. He taught me so much and was always so encouraging, I feel like he’s still there looking out for me. I want to do him proud and take him on all my future adventures. He was happiest out in the mountains so that’s where I feel closest to him
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I haven’t posted on here for a long time as my life is really so hectic I don’t get time to look at the forum much.
Reading your messages today though I wanted to say, firstly how sorry I am that you have the need for this forum at all. Secondly to say that you are all hitting one of the most difficult times in my experience. The shock and numbness from losing your loved one will be wearing off maybe, and the reality that this IS what life is now - being without them - is setting in.
It was around 3-4 months when I found it was seeming so much harder and when possibly outsiders think you are going to be over the worst. As we know, that is so far from the truth of the situation but I am sure I would have been as guilty of thinking that as anyone before I lost my darling husband suddenly after almost 29 years of marriage. It is a loss like no other I have experienced.
It is now coming up to two years since my Richard went out to play his weekly football and never came home, having suffered a coronary thrombosis and never made it to a hospital alive.
One of the best things which has helped me is finding a group of friends from here who, of course, completely understand what each other is going through. We all have different low times and are able to support each other through those. We are in daily contact now, having found the we had a similar way of approaching this life which has been thrust upon us.
That began with zoom calls but has blossomed from those.
For me, the determination to make my husband proud of me has been one of my driving forces and to look after what he so lovingly created and what he cared about.
My two daughters, one of whom has a learning disability and still lives with me, are the most important aspect of my life now and I knew I had to keep going for them.
We all get our strength from different things so think about what may help give you that motivation to make a new life, even if it’s not the life we want.
In my experience, the pain is still awful when it hits but that is less frequently than it used to be. I DO enjoy aspects of life and laugh, go out, play sport, craft and do many things which make life as good as it can now be.
Sending love to you all and keep asking for help and support on here.
Karen xxx
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