At the end of 2020 I lost my dad,mom and sister to suicide. Mom and dad on the same day,sister a few weeks before. I haven’t been able to grieve as my partner is unsupportive, my friends are great but I feel I’m putting to much on them. I work alot and my shifts are all over the place so can’t physically have grief counselling. There isn’t much grief counselling In my area any way.
I only have my brother now and he lives quite far away and i don’t feel i can talk to him about any of it for different reasons. I can’t look at photos and I have to avoid alot of music as it’s just too painful. I feel a huge amount of guilt, I feel like giving up. I feel lost and scared and I’m worried that because I’ve had to bottle it all up and not think about it. It will all come out in an explosion one day, especially as I’m diagnosed with several mental illnesses too.
This place is maybe the last place to try to get support as other places I’ve asked for support from that my gp recommended have never got back to me. Not sure what else to do.