Dear Deborah1
Thank you. Motorbikes are killers - I used to tell my husband this all the time but he ignored my pleas - that is my pain.
Sheila
Yes âŚI can understand your pain and anger with the bloody bike and your husband 2âŚYour love for him shines through and i feel anger towards Chris sometimes for leaving me although our men wouldnât have caused us this pain for the worldâŚChris too left a 2 year old grandson he was so proud of.
Dear Deborah1
Yes it is so painful and absolutely devastating that the grandchildren will not have the benefit of guidance and wisdom from their grandas. It breaks my heart.
Sheila
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Hi Sheila and Deborah.
I feel your pain and Sheila I know what you mean when you say you warned your husband but he still rode his bike.
Well my Ron was a typical Northern man. Enjoyed his drink and cigarettes but never caused any harm to anyone. I did not smoke or drink and I warned him for years that it would play havoc with his health but to no avail. I begged him to cut down on the smoking and not to call at the pub after work but he would not listen as he loved to socialise with friends.
He stopped drinking when he could no longer swallow properly and he started to use an electronic cigarette but his health was already compromised by then and he died of pancreatic cancer 16 months after diagnosis. He didnât even want to do either of the two things that contributed to his death but it was too late by then.
So you see, we all think we will be the survivors of what we know is a dangerous habit or activity but very often we are wrong.
I donât beat myself up about it or blame him in any way. I just feel so sad that in the end he could not even look at a alcoholic drink without feeling sick and he would sit all night with just a glass of coke.
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hi i lost my partner 2 months ago i thought i was doing well but this week as been the worst since he died every day im missing him more so dont feel your on your own if you need a chat anytime xx
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Hi @Denise0212 , So sorry for your loss . Itâs been sixteen weeks for me since I lost my husband and I felt the same as you . I thought I was doing okay but then you have days where reality kicks in again and you feel like you are back to square one. I use the good days to recharge my batteries and do things around the house and sort things out . It certainly is an emotional rollercoaster.
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hi kim im the same some days i feel i can clean around the house other days i just want to go to sleep its like a nightmare i feel lost you never think you loose your partner .
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Thankyou SheilaâŚ
@Denise0212. Iâm still not sure if it has really sunk in with me . I went back to work within about four weeks . I thought that would help but it doesnât. Itâs really hard and I live about 2 hours away from family .
im lucky in some ways i have my son living with me i have a daughter but she lives 30 miles away i havent got much family around me . i find the nightime is the worst thats when i find i cant cope it will be 9 weeks tomorrow i hate saturdays i keep thinking what happened on the day i have terrible flashbacks of the day
Hi,
My partner passed three months ago and for the past week, I keep crying at the slightest thing.
In my mind, I see him everywhere and canât believe I wonât ever share special events with him.
I talk to him every day but reality kicks in and I know itâs just a empty house .
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Dear angiecb
Thank you - I know what you mean. My husband thought he was invincible. Some of his friends have given up their bikes since - just wish they had said something to my husband when he was alive. It is a long road I have to travel alone before I can even begin to get over this.
hi paula im the same now its hitting me the last week or so i was with my partner for 32 years but i honestly feel he s around me it s a comfort to me he wasnt in the best of health but i didnt expect to see him pass away in the house early in january he had a bad leg the following day he said he was fine then weeks later i noticed his breathing was shallow i told the respiratory nurses thinking they would follow up what i told them 2 weeks later he died of a pulmonary embollism i really feel its my fault should i have pushed him to see a dr i only knew it was a clot because they had to do a post mortem i thought we would have had another 5 to 10 years left together im truly heartbroken every day is a struggle
I think we all go through the thoughts of what could have been different or what we should have done. I know I have. Ultimately I know it wonât alter things and itâs this fact that is so difficult. We all want to wake up from our nightmare and find itâs not really happening - but we canât. Itâs so hard to accept isnât it?
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yes its like a nightmare thats never ending family and friends try to help by suggesting to look forward but im one of these that look back to the past we were so happy together
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I know exactly what you mean.
its been really nice texting you and i feel im not on my own feeling like this well thanks for listerning goodnight godbless x
Goodnight - we all understand here.
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Me too Paula itâs eight months on now since he died
I feel cheated as the team at Salford Royal treated him so badly. We were together 31 years and he was a Nurse also Iâm afraid our next step is a Solicitor
I cannot get his suffering out of my headâŚPlease take good care of yourself Paula
Deborah
Dear Deborah1
So sorry that you are on this same journey. Just over 7 months now for me and I cannot stop thinking about my husbandâs last moments. I do know from the police that a passing driver got out of their car and stayed with my husband until the emergency services arrived so he was not alone but I never got to say goodbye or be there with him. Every day is a struggle.
Take care
Sheila
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