I spent the third ‘anniversary’ (not sure that’s the right word) of my wife’s passing with daughter and son in law, a little break from the surrounding emptiness of our flat. We have made a little tradition of lighting a candle in a local church, on the same day our other daughter who is unwell, did a similar thing. I felt just for a short time some peace and a connection between the family that hasn’t been there for a while. We used to enjoy travelling, even if it was a short bus or train trip, now, doing it alone, it feels both tiring and unexciting. Even though it’s 3 years, some days it hurts so much. That dull ache is still there. It’s very difficult when you have spent 50 years with the same person and now no one seems to really know you any more. It really never seems to end.
I am so sorry that you feel so lonely. I lost my beloved husband this February suddenly and without any warning. He felt a bit unwell, thought he had something wrong with his stomach, and was overworked but within three hours he died on Valentine’s Day of undiagnosed Kidney cancer. Since then every day and night is a struggle and I am on my own. I am on the waiting list for Mind Thurrock. The loneliness is not getting away and I am missing holding hands in the night with him. Sending love and hugs.
Hi Malc39200. It is 3yrs 4wks since i lost my husband and like you i feel the lonliness every day we had been together 40yrs i have a wonderful family but they dont understand the total emptiness of my life now they have their own lives to lead as it should be but i dont feel as if i am known and understood anymore i still cry a lot and the ache of missing my husband will never go away. Love and hugs to you.
Hi Malc39200, 3years 7 months since I lost my darling husband and people seem to think that I should be “over it”. People do not understand the empty house feeling when your spouse is no longer there to share all that is going on in your life. I have joined some groups and made new friends as they know me for who I am now, not as part of a married couple. It is hard to cope some days and now another winter with the dark nights coming, but we are brave brave souls. Our spouses would be so proud of us. Big hugs to you and all on here who are grieving XXXXX
Thank you for your kind messages. I am sorry for your losses. It is a very hard time for all of us. I appreciate your taking the time to reply.