Hi All,
Haven’t been here for a few months.
So it’s 3 years on Saturday since I lost my dad aged 95. I’m on my own ( live alone ) and not working atm and I’ve not felt well the last few days. Think I’m reliving his last week, and the last 11 years ( been through an awful lot which I have posted about on here ) I suppose it’s triggering me ( struggle with my mental health too ) and bringing all the feelings back!
Dad was the last local family member, my parents had me late and I’ve lost everybody now and at " only " 51, am feeling it.
I divorced 6 years ago after 21 years with the same man, don’t have any siblings ( so no nieces or nephews ) and my daughter moved out to live with her dad as I was struggling and never came back. Our relationship has broken down and atm, she’s not in my life. It’s broken my heart! I’ve had to give up trying as affected me too much.
I was in a relationship until last July and we are still very good friends, thank goodness! I do have a few close friends but only him who visits and helps occasionally. I hate asking for help and it’s a " last resort " 
but I am trying to do this.
My remaining family are over 200 miles away in opposite directions and I’m the only family member on their own now. I really do feel it!! It’s terribly hard at times 
I’m in touch and have just booked a holiday / to go and see them which will be the first time in 15 years! ( year I lost my mum ) Everything has changed in that time! So that will be lovely but emotional too as it was my dads birth place.
Maybe it’s grief again, feeling stressed, tense, anxious, scared, and worried about the future.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.