Its been 3mths and only now im having his funeral 31st July. Because there still is no cause of death but i couldn’t bare it any longer
Im so scared and so sad and all sorts of emotions going on in my head n my heart is broke into as i still cant belive im doing this.
Sudden death on 5th May 23
He went to work he kissed me goodbye and said see u later on darling even texted me when he got to work like he always did…
But he had a cardic arrest at work and took his last breath at 9.03am and ive been besides myself.
I have very little family and he lost all his.
Im the most loneliest person i think.
Im always here i go out alone.
I cant go back to work yet im no where near ready.
I see my daughter here n there.
But the feeling of being alone is killing me even more…
I really feel like why am i here no one really cares about me. I feel like when this funeral is all done thats is final!
They go home to family n loving arms of there loved ones i go home to no one.
And i feel like its all gonna be done n dusted which is going to make me go right back.
Im only young we both were
We only had each other.
Im so lost i feel so alone in this world.
I wish there were local pages like this so people who have lost people could comfort each other.
Im in Rochester kent. Id love toeet others who are going through this.
Im so afriad of this big world now.
Oh god i so wish i was dreaming
I am in disbelief too, my loved one had terminal cancer, she lasted longer than the doctors thought, and in the end, I watched her deteriorate and eventually die at home, and whilst it was diagnosed we always prayed for a miracle and tried every treatment going, natural or prescribed. Although it was told she was going to die, I never believed it, she was strong and courageous and never gave up, so to lose someone suddenly as you did must have been a terrible shock.
I too, feel despair, the future plans all gone, never seeing her face and holding her is torment.
I remember her love, her warmth and her support, and I comfort myself talking to her, looking at photos (though I cry my eyes out), and I know that whilst her body is gone, she is not, that love was so strong that I know she watches over me, and is saying, don’t forget me, but don’t stay in pain too long, as she wouldn’t want it.
I feel your loved one wants you find the courage and strength, in the knowing you are guided and loved, in your soul, that love cannot ever go away.
Talk to your closest trusted friends, keep talking, allow the grief, but don’t become consumed in it, this is not what is wanted for you.
Keep distracted as much as possible, and make sure you care for yourself, as is wished for you by your beloved.
You are being looked after, though it doesn’t feel like it, but you are not alone.
Big hugs
@Nancy.Shawnny
3 months is a long time to wait for a funeral. My partner died at 49 from cardiac arrest. He was on a ride with his friends and just fell off his bike, his life was over. The shock and devastation is horrendous and 3 months is no time at all, it’s still very raw. I’m nearly 6 months now and life is not too bad, I obviously have terrible days but it’s not all consuming like at the beginning.
There is a zoom group that has been set up by a couple of people privately, not through Sue Ryder. If you’re interested in meeting people to chat to, you can private message @KarenF and she could add you to the list.
We met on a Tuesday, Friday and Sunday @8pm, not compulsory to join each one and you might find it’s not for you. But it’s there if you are interested.
@Nancy.Shawnny I too had the desperate need to talk to others in the same situation. Bereavement support seems to depend where you live. There are bereavement cafes, groups through churches & health care & GPs. I’m in Scotland and there is very little provision. I am paying for private counselling although I’m not too sure it’s helping. The biggest help has been this forum as so many people have similar experiences and really understand what it’s like to lose a partner. Keep chatting on here. Take care.