its 4 months since my husband died ,he died very suddenly still feels like it was yesterday
i relive the day he died every second of what happend…the cpr i had to give him. then the ambulance crew doing all they could to try and bring him back
its not like casulty on tv, its sole destoying watching it
no glazed over eyes , just a lost look staring at you
as it was a sudden death the police were called
they say time heals, it don’t , it just keeps going round in my head ,
sorry about the spelling ,
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Hello
Sorry for your loss my husband Andy passed December 5th
Due to COVID breaks me everyday
There not a second I don’t think off I sob all the time
Seeing his face as he went in the ambulance
Then holding his hand as he passed away
Broke me and I will never be the same again
My heart is broken
Take care xx
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It’s been nearly 4 months since my husband to be passed away. Our wedding is next month. I miss him so much and I feel I should of done more to save him.
I feel the same as you. Friends and family say to me time is a great healer but I can’t see how it can be and just like yourself it keeps going round in my head.
Hello
I struggle every day with the unbearable pain
It a horrible life now
Take care xx
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Hi
I to had to perform CPR but my husband had already choked and bleed to death . The police also came as treated as sudden death. I relived this over and over for the first couple of weeks and never thought it would ease. It is truly traumatic to see the most important person in your life suffer and die. I think I have come to terms with how he died by trying to take comfort in the fact I was with him. He was frightened in the beginning as he must have known it was the end and that really haunted me, his fear. I tied to stay calm for him. Some days I think the grief gets too much and you just shut down and feel nothing. When people ask me how I am I reply ok, but I’m not really. I have decided the word I shall use from now os very sad. I am sad and probably will always feel sad as nothing will bring him back.
We just have to forge out a new life for ourselves, not the one we wanted but we owe it to them to try and enjoy it as best as we can.
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Yes I agree. I sometimes feel a bit better but after 3 months of bereveament it all seems to go round and round again and I cry every day.
I do need help but so many people have lost partners recently due to Covid I don’t think we will get help unless we do it ourselves. Once lockdown is over perhaps some of us should form face to face groups?
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Oh Debbie, I really feel for you. I went through the same. My lovely Paul went into hospital by ambulance on 22nd Dec. I spoke to him via video call on Christmas Day. I didn’t know that would be the last time I’d speak to him, and held his hand in icu on 17th January as he passed away. My heart is broken and I’m angry covid took him away from me. We were so happy. He was 56. I don’t think we’ll ever get over it but just learn to live without them. Sending you comforting virtual hugs xx
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Hello
Andy went in hospital 23 November
He fought to sat morning December the 5th
All his organs failed ,
I am drinking far to much at the min
Please take care xx
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And you, Debbie. Look after yourself xx
Kristina
I too lost my husband of 35 yrs to Covid he was 55.
Admitted Boxing Day morning on a ventilator for 13 days nothing more they could do.
I held him when he left me on the 9th January. All our plans for the future taken away.
I struggle to really deeply cry my brakes come on hard and I don’t know why because I really need to release my pain.
My family have basically abandoned me so the few family and my friends I have here for me I don’t want to become a burden to, they say I’m not but that’s now.
This group has no judgement we unbelievably are all suffering the same in so many ways, that breaks my heart too anyone suffering as I am.
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Debbie 55. I started to drink when Ron died and now it is a regular thing. Ron never liked me having too much drink as I never drank at all until I was in my mid 50’s. It helps me sleep now but I am always shattered the day after and I don’t enjoy it but it is a way of coping. I can sense your grief and it is still so raw for you. I can’t cry anymore but the hole in my heart and the ache are still there after 2 and a half years. It is such a different life and one I never expected. I get up at dinner and I go to bed late. My life feels so shallow now and I keep hoping it is all a bad dream.But it isn’t. I am so so sorry that your hubby died of covid especially when it is something we had not even heard of just over a year ago. I hope time will help ease the rawness for you.
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Hello
Me and Andy use to have a drink Friday or Saturday
But now all the time for me
Feel like a bad nightmare and I will wake up
This site as been a help as we are all suffering together
But the pain is so unbearable heartbroken
Take care xx
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Hello
Andy was 57 i scream all the time I sob and can’t stop
So hard it really is always kept myself clean and always put makeup
On god now if i have a wash that’s good no makeup on now
And the house well that’s never clean any more
Please take care so horrible and unfair to all off us xxx
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I’m the same. Grief is horrible and exhausting. I can’t remember the last time I wore makeup. Probably just before Paul went into hospital. We used to have a routine, not any more. I’m not back at work yet. My sleep pattern is out of whack and most of the time I don’t get out of bed until 9.30 or 10.00am. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I really feel for you and totally understand. Keep safe and well xx
Morning
I don’t get up to around 12 can’t be bothered
And work not sure what will happen with work
Can’t face the outside world better for me
Just to stay in home
Please take care x
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My husband died on the 1st of December of cancer , he was diagnosed 6 weeks before so it was such a shock for us all. I held his hand while he took his last breath and it was then that my life ended too he was only 55 . Last night I wanted to join him I cannot stop crying I have shouted at people, I do not know how to carry on without him, my two sons have been good but I don’t want them to get upset as the are grieving too. I forced myself to go back to work in January but that had not helped at all x
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Hello
I know that feeling I asked to be taken
Every night to be with Andy
And then I wake up
And then the unbearable pain starts again
Take care xx
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I have empathy with you and your sad loss and very traumatic event.Police Ambulance etc.Very similar happened to me 13 months ago but it is like yesterday that l lost my husbannd suddenly so sad and traumatic.l also tried hard to get him back but was gone in seconds.l am trying to be positive and be kind to myself and remember the 33 happy years that we had take care
Maureen
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