I lost my soul mate 4 years ago and while i know i am doing ok(he would not want me to be unhappy) all of a sudden the sense of loss has hit me like a tsunami again. It is not having that person that truly gets you that I miss. The little rants after a bad day at work, the hugs and just cuddling up on the sofa. I find people just want to think you are over it all now and on the face of things i look ok - dont like worrying people but my goodness this is tough !!
Is this normal - feel like i am losing the plot!! Xx
Hi there its 4 years for me too this year .No I am experiencing the same .This was the worst Christmas and beginning to realise time dosent exist in Grief .I am comfortable with it now and the times I dont feel great I can cope .My daughter summed it up I just miss Dad she said .And that is the simple truth of grief you just miss ygem .Take care and big hugs
I believe the grief lasts a lifetime. I’m only a year in but determined that next year will not be like this one. I do however expect to have moments for the rest of my life. The grief definitely changes and I now have a life I’m happy to lead and still hope that it improves more as life goes on but I do think we grieve different aspects of the life we had.
I know people at different stages of grief and years and although they experience happiness and get on with life they do have a constant shadow over what they do and they do grieve for different aspects of there life that they miss.
I loved my life, I loved our life together and I didn’t want it to change so what do I do now. Will I ever be as happy as I was? Will I ever do things I enjoyed before? No, because it only worked with him. But I am finding life, the one I knew, is changing and I’m finding new things to do and one day I will look back and see a massive change as I do feel the life I had is being slowly chipped away but I have faith that I am going in the right direction and still feel he guides me in the choices I’m making.
Great to hear you are doing ok. I work full time have amazing friends and family, so know i am blessed. I take every opportunity to live life to the full and have made major decisions on my own .BUT at the moment i just feel
Thank you for this makes me feel i am not going mad! I am a strong independent woman and get so annoyed with myself for allowing this to overwhelm me. Good to see empathy thank you xx
Hi EH2020, Yes I do believe that this is normal for alot of us. I am 5 years now since losing Pete and when you have been together for 50 years and have almost become one it is so hard to not be with them.
I like you look okay on the surface as that is how other folk expect or want us to be but it is only when you sadly have to walk in our shoes that you really get what it feels like. So onwards and upwards… Sending you my kindest thoughts.
Love Jenny x
Thanks so much Jenny Just feel better for hearing this is ‘normal’ - if life ever is! I am a very positive person and that’s why I am so shocked by this!! As you say onwards and upwards! Ex
I hope it’s normal. Three and three quarters years for me and some days I don’t feel like I’ve made a single step of progress, merely plastered over the wound. Actually it was quite a shock when I realized how much time had gone by in this state.
Hi
It will be 10 years February 17,2024 since i had my soulmate stolen from me, due to cancer.
I grieve everyday. I miss what he and i shared. I miss the things we had planned to do together. I miss the love that we shared. It was such an even mutual love.
I miss him and the life we shared.
No one gets that, no one understands the pain i still feel when i think of him.
So many times i have considered taking my own life, but i think that would send me to hell and my soul wouldnt reunite with his. So i wait, but it’s hard.
So sorry to hear this. I totally get your pain i anly 4 years in but share the same feelings. We do not just lose our soul mate (bad enough) but a whole lifestyle. All the things we planned all the things we did and the dreams we had. I qm not going to give any advice but hear to listen if you just need to talk xx
Thanks EH,
I appreciate your reply, your support as well.
Grief isn’t measured by how long you have been grieving, your grief of 4 years is the same as mine after 9 years and 11 months to the day.
I just found this support group TODAY!! No one in my family or friend circle has loss their soulmate and they just don’t understand.
You are very welcome. I have stopped talking about it to friends and family now just keep plodding on. Thanks to all for your support it does help and i can see i am.not alone in this now xx
