This week will mark 4 years since losing my dad to cancer, being only 23 when he died made me feel incredibly angry, when I see others have both parents whilst I do not never gets any easier. I miss him more than anything in the world, being constantly full of regrets and sadness really makes you wonder if he would be okay with me being so sad, I know the answer to this. I try and hold on to my memories, I know I will forever miss him. He was my best friend.
I suppose time has healed some parts of my grief, mostly coming to terms with never seeing him again was the hardest, I can’t fully say I’ve properly grieved but I just wanted to say to those who have lost a parent, stay strong, remember them, who they are and what you love about them, not what you’ll miss.
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about dad. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
i was about the same age as yuou when my dad died in 1981 and all these yrs later i still miss him and wish i had done things different, said things i should have done etc. i was adopted and my B*&^h of a mother didnt even tell me he was ill till it was too late. what upsets me the most is wondering if he ever wondered why i never came to see him, did i really care and i did although young and getting on with my life and living quite a way away. but i didnt know and it was a cousin who told me he had died, she couldnt even do that. i had been to see him in the last couple of weeks before he died but only as i had found out by accident. even then she dared me to tell hi he was dying and when i asked why she had never told me about him being ill she said it was none of my business and on the day of the funeral, when i came i went straight to the funeral home and asked if i could see him. when she found out she wasnt happy, either about me seeing him or because i wasnt wearing black.
i remember the good times i had with him growing up but even now i wish he was here so i could tell him that i did love him etc and not seeing him wasnt my fault even though he would be 108 this yr.
I lost my Mum 10 years ago in November 2015 and the pain is still raw - although as the time passes it gets slightly easier. I was 49 when my mother died - Mum was 87- but I too experienced the anger you are talking about. Grief is a painful journey but this is the price we pay for love. I was very close to my mother so the pain goes very deep. It feels like a very deep wound that I have to carry and learn to live with. Finding new interests helps. Our mothers and fathers would want us to get on with our lives and be happy but to get there we have to acknowledge our grief. I think the best way of coping is to just take one day at a time. My mother was an amazing person and irreplaceable. I feel so fortunate that this lovely person was my mother.
