40th anniversary party

I have recently been invited to a 40th anniversary party of a couple who I have not been in contact with much over the last 4 years. My husband passed away on 17 January 2019…I have been lucky to have the support of my family and friends…I do miss him so much. Derek was a very positive person and I try my best to enjoy life as I know he would wish me to. I accepted the invitation, initially feeling flattered to have been invited, but the more I think about it I just don’t feel like going as I will know very few people and will be out of my comfort zone. Also, like other conversations I have read on here, the usual questions of “how are you” will be asked and I will not be expected to say how I really feel as it is a celebration. Oddly enough I would have felt more at ease if it had been a sit down dinner party where I would be limited as to who I would be talking to whereas I know this will involve mingling and approaching people to talk to mostly whom I will never have met. I am a sociable person and have a job where I speak to the general public all the time. Part of me feels a defeatist. Maybe it’s partially, if I am honest, that it brings back memories of all the lovely wedding anniversaries we had. Most times we would go abroad around the time of our anniversary and 2023 would have been our 40th. My son and daughter both say that I don’t have to go and send a gift with an apology message. Thanks for reading this. Not exactly a major decision but each time certain social situations occur more emotions rise to the surface.

Sarah, I know exactly how you feel and yes I have been to ‘stuff’ like this because as you say it seems the right thing to do. I end up making a quick exit. In fact I think I may have perfected it!
Sorry but now I just don’t do it, it’s hard work and as you say that wonderful question is asked, the worst was earlier this year I was asked “how do you cope on your own” I left very quickly. No answer, what ever you do, keep safe. S xx.

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