4am and I am up can’t sleep been sitting here reading. Trying to figure out where I go from here I just don’t no 56 and alone when everyone else is or semes happy around me just one of those day Iam on a downer I no I will come through but just now it seems like the world is conspiring again me even time I turn a corner and think things are getting better I get dragged down by someone y is it that some people have the ability to do this just with a simple tex message family can be so hard to get on with some times yet we are stuck with them I wish sometimes that I could just work away. We were close as kids but now it semes when you need them the most thay just don’t want to no and can be so hurtful it just makes me feel more alone than ever and more lost than I thought I would be just a rely morning rant before I Put on a face for the rest of the world and my elderly mother that think the sun shines out of this person I can and want upset her life at her age is to short for upset thakyou for my rant it helps.

Hi 4am I’m usually 3am ! I am so sorry to read your post and for your loss. It is so early on for you. Everyone reacts differently towards you when you have been one of two and then become just one. Until you are in our position, people have no idea how it feels and therefor they can’t empathise. Some people can be spiteful. Get rid of them. You will make new friends along the way. I am 9 years on this lonely journey. I was shocked at how mean some family and friends could be. It made me have doubts in myself. But, by joining new groups, I made new friends. I cut contact with anyone negative. B+ Mar. x


Hi I’ve been reading a very good book and one of the chapters is about rearranging your address book. How true. In time you will learn to be kind to yourself and not invite people in who will hurt you. It is still early days for me and I am still learning to be kind to myself. I try not to mix with people I don’t like or who have been unkind to me. Easier said than done but with time I’m sure I will crack it. Most of the time I do what I want to do, go where I want to go and speak to who I want to. Some people have no idea of the impact they have on someone who has had their world blown apart. If your interested the book is called It’s ok that you’re not ok. It has helped me. Take care be kind to yourself xx


Hi, yes it’s a long and lonely road at times but you will get through the worst and find that some tomorrow’s are better. Just don’t expect miracles, even after 5 years somedays are a bit grim. The thing with how other people react is particular and I don’t think I will ever understand what makes them think they can behave in such inconsiderate ways, human beings are definitely weird. The night time thing will take time for you to find out what works and what doesn’t but try to do different things to help you sleep longer or go back to sleep quicker, you need your sleep and in the first months, plus, you must take care of yourself and I know it’s nearly impossible to try. With this virus thing be careful because your immune system will be lower and you will be more susceptible to catching bugs. Always remember that life goes on no matter what happens and we can’t stop the world, if I could I would have.
Take care and blessings.


I have found that sometimes people will be inconsiderate and a bit sharp but I think they are afraid. They look at me and are thinking one day that will be me and it scares them so they brush off that feeling.

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