I lost my dear wife on 8th March 2022 when she passed away in hospital with advanced liver disease. She had been ill for six months or so and went downhill so quickly.
Within days of going into hospital she fell into a coma and never emerged. I never got to say goodbye to her.
The funeral was on 8th April and as time has moved on Im better than I was but still so raw. I miss her terribly and Im just so alone in this world. I talk to her all the time and I kiss her photo and a cry, oh I cry all the time. Nothing eases the pain.
So I wanted to join her wherever she is , in whatever after life, if there is one and so I went to B&Q [METHOD REMOVED BY ONLINE COMMUNITY MANAGER]
But I sat at home with it and thought long and hard about what I was doing and I knew this was not me. This was not the way through any of it.
The dead are at peace. Its us the living that have the problem. Its us the living that have the grief and the pain and its us that need to rest in peace.
But Im better than I was. The worst part of my life is the loneliness
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Hi there Achilles
I bet there’s not one of us on this forum that hasn’t felt just as you have in those early days when nothing makes any sense to us and the agony of grief is so hard to bear. And you are in the very early days of your grief.
I am not going to say you will ever stop missing your dear wife or cease the crying but we do learn to live with the grief and manage to find a way through it. In my early days I was told that grief is like a wound, it heals over but there is always a scar.
When out for a walk with the dogs this morning I went through the cemetery where my husbands ashes are and I stopped to tell him all my news and how much I loved and missed him and there were tears and I am in my third year but I then happily carried on with my walk and picked blackberries in the rain… We learn to live through the grief. So please give yourself time to heal. You don’t sound like a quitter to me so put that rope away for times when you can make better use of it and that time will come in time.
Good luck
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it was a daft reaction to the huge grief I felt but I was intent on joining her…Even now I sit here in the evening, which are the worst , and I just have no one to talk to , no one to cry with, no one to hug and its a really lonely place to be. But I also know there are others out there just like me, maybe worse. I dont know.