5 Months

This is only my second message it’s now been 18 weeks since Andrew died and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I feel I am really fortunate to have a network of family, friends and lots of work colleagues who have been with me every step of this journey without Andrew and I really don’t know how I would have been without them.

Andrew was my soulmate and we did everything together, we travelled the world during the 27 years we were together And had the most amazing experiences that I can treasure forever. He was the person I turned to in an evening when I had a bad day at work and he isn’t there now in person to have that evening chat and how I miss that and his being there so much . Andrew will know I am desperately sad but I know he would want me to carry on without him and I M trying my upmost to get up each day go to work and plan things to do as he would want me to no matter how hard it is I feel I have to keep his memory and legacy living on through me.

It was my wedding anniversary on 14 January, Andrew died in the hospice and when we found out there was. 10k and 2 k run on the 14 January my place of work arranged to register for the event in Andrew’s memory I joined them with family and friends and between us we raised nearly £2500 for the hospice that looked after Andrew so well in his last few days so it made my wedding anniversary feel a happy memory and we all felt him with us

I have had few dips in the last couple of weeks but the counsellor sessions I have are really helping me to find some peace I think I am always so hard on myself and my counsellor says I have to be kinder to myself so am trying and just learning about meditation to relax to see if this will help on the really bad days. Trying to be positive !



Hi Ann, it’s 18 weeks for me today too since my lovely husband died. It’s been really tough trying to figure out where I fit in now. Thankfully I have my two remarkable teenagers to keep me going and focused. The next piece of my puzzle is work. I’m meeting with HR on Tuesday to discuss but I feel I’ve been trying to move forward and that’s a backwards step that I’ll find traumatic. My husband and myself were both nurses and sadly he passed away in the ward where I work with my colleagues. Another change on the horizon but I think it’ll be for the best. Thank you for your post this morning and allowing me to vent. Kindest regards.