I was in my final year of university 5 years ago when I lost my mum to Bowel Cancer. Mum was my best friend, the person I spoke to every day on the phone and understood me better than anyone.
I reflect every year on the 30th September (anniversary of her passing) but this year it feels more significant as it’s coming up to 5 years now.
It never gets easier, but learning to cope has been the biggest learning curve and there have been a lot of downs. I suppose that despite coping, it’s far different from the concept of the situation becoming familiar, or “just the way it is now”. Losing someone so significant and present in your life to them just not being around anymore is something that I’ve never been able to fully comprehend, and I never will.
I have moments where I feel like I’m not as close to her anymore, I used to talk to her frequently, even sending messages to her social media. I’m going to visit the hospice where she spent her last days on Saturday, by doing this I’ll hopefully regain some of that past closeness.