I lost my beloved husband of 36 years very suddenly at the end of April. He was my soulmate and best friend and we did everything together. I was completely devastated when he died from a sudden cardiac arrest. I thought I was coping, keeping busy and getting out seeing friends and family. Six months on and I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. I’ve lost all motivation to do anything. I’m crying all the time and can’t bring myself to reach out to anyone. I feel so lost and don’t know how I can go on like this. Will I ever feel better?
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Hi Lin20
I know exactly how you feel as I lost my beloved partner suddenly in April too. A fit and healthy man who’d recently been given a clean bill of health. He was literally here one minute and gone the next.
I think in the early days the shock somehow protects you. Now as the shock starts to wear off, the stark reality of being alone kicks in. I had a real meltdown last week which took me by surprise, but thankfully I feel a little better this week.
I can’t think about the future because at the moment I don’t feel there is one. I’m hoping in time things will give way to a more positive outlook. I’m just taking a day at a time. Once the initial legal paperwork is dealt with there is nothing that is urgent. And although it’s not my usual way of dealing with things, I’ve learnt to just do things when I want to do them and not what others think I should be doing!
There’s no rush to feel any different. I still cry every day at some point. The world will be waiting when we are ready.
Sending love and strength in these difficult days. xx
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Hi Jody, thank you for your kind words, and I am so sorry you are going through the same nightmare. I also feel like there is no future at the moment, but hopefully in time that will change. I’ve found it hard being tearful all the time when I was doing so well in the earlier days, but you’re right, I was probably protected by numbness and shock. Wishing us all better days ahead.
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I too lost my beloved back in January even after 9 months im crying every day as i miss him so much we did everything together he passed away suddenly cardiac arrest 
he wasnt ill or nothing. I miss my beloved so much:sob:
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I’m so sorry for your loss… sudden loss is unbearable and so hard to accept 
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Thank you for your kind words it means a lot. 
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Hello Jody,
I totally agree.
The shock does shield and protect somewhat, decreasing as time passes.
I also do not really plan for the future.
It is nearly 8 months and I now have a couple of ideas of what I might have done in the house.
These are things that will make life easier for me and I had discussed with my husband.
I am not quite up to making that final decision/arrangement. I hope I can build up my confidence to do it.
Rose xx
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I lost my husband 8 months ago ,we were together 26 years ,and same as you we did everything together.Just give yourself time I am so sorry you are feeling this way.My thoughts are with you .You will get through this and find the strength to go on
I lost my husband a year ago after 55 years together. Like lots of others, I seem to be getting worse as reality has set in that this is it now and I will never see him again. I still haven’t collected his ashes but now I feel I might get some comfort in having them at home with me. This is so hard, I feel for all of us that have ended up in this situation
Lots of love and hugs xx