Hi everyone, this is my very first comment so please bear with me. My dad was my rock, I went through an awful breakup after being with my boyfriend since school (8 years together) my dad was there every step and helped me more than I could have imagined. When I didn’t want to get out of bed he got me up, told me to get dressed and took me to the seaside. This was April 2018. October 2018 came and my dad could hardly walk, after countless doctors appointments and ambulances, he was diagnosed with cancer on the 19th October. Fast forward 2 and a half weeks and he’s gone, 6th November 2018 he took his last breath with me holding his hand. Almost 6 months on I still have a pain in my heart. His last words to me where hello baby girl - I’ll never forget that. I’m struggling most with the thought that I’ll never see him again. The most important man in my life taken from me so quickly, we had no time at all. My mum is amazing but I struggle getting upset infront of her, it breaks my heart seeing her so upset. I hold my tears in every day to protect my lovely mum. What helps others? (Sorry for the long post) x
Please don’t apologise for writing how you feel I’m sorry I can’t help you om this one as haven’t lost a parent but list my soulmate of seventeen years it’s been six months and ten days im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes we had all our future mapped out dreams and hopes to grow old together everything my life has been blown apart taken away so cruelly and brutally
What u can say is people on this site will help you who’ve lost a parent he sounds like he loved you so much and I’m so sorry for your loss sounds like a beautiful person to love you to get you out of bed and give you that motivation you obviously were very much loved by him and that’s so dear and bittersweet grief is awful it’s the panic attacks anxiety disbelief just like your world has gone you have your mum I understand you want to be strong for her keep posting how you feel hun and you will get help and guidance I’ve nearly ended it all a few times this week through some amazing people on here im still clinging on by a thread for now anyway keep looking down to I’m sure there’s post of losing a parent send a message you will speak to someone kind it’s awful the feeling of being alone numb upset terrifying message anytime im here your in my thoughts take care as much as possible Adele x
Hi hun just messaged in a thread underneath for someone to message you its two parents two years take a look may help x
Hi, thank you so much for your kind words and I’m sorry for your loss. I’m completely heartbroken, my dad was everything to me and I never imagined my life without him. I suffered really bad with anxiety and Ive called the doctors for help but been put on a waiting list to be assessed. I felt like getting in my car and driving to the middle of no where this week just to get away but then no one would be there for my mum. X
Hello Woog93, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. I lost my husband at the end of November last year. We got home from holiday at the end of September and he had suffered from a bit of back pain whilst we were away. Similar to your Dad after countless medical appointments and a couple of trips to hospital, George was also diagnosed with cancer on the 19 October. He had Lymphoma and we were told there was a good chance of a cure. He was very poorly though and had trouble moving around. He was so ill that he was admitted to hospital on the 27th November and died suddenly on a blood clot on Thursday 29 November. I find it really hard because I was not with him and even though the nurses told me that he lost consciousness really quickly after being a bit breathless, I am so worried he was scared and wanted me there. It is not quite 6 months and it is no time at all. I cry all the time and miss him like mad. In fact I still think I cannot believe he is not coming back. You need to cry to heal. I often take myself for a walk and cry, and I always cry before bed. You and your mum have each other, take strength from that. Take care xx
Hi hun I get where your coming from your dad sounds amazing and I can tell he lobed you alot visa versa it’s your dad and that’s so bittersweet that he recognised you and called you babygirl it’s so so hard in time I hope you will take comfort from that and he knew you were then until the end well I hate to say end because with my soulmate I don’t say end I say he’s asleep until I see him again my way of getting through second by second I know what you mean of just going off I’ve had so many similar thoughts but I want to see my soulmate again I’d do anything even one last kiss on the forehead in the chapel of rest anything I’d do feel so devastated but like you say you need to be as strong as you can for your mam and she will be doing the same for you if you ever get so desperate my email alerts always on message anytime if you want to talk if you get soo desperate a lovely lady today because I’ve been rock bottom at the point of doing something silly inboxed me to ring Samaritans I did it’s free 24/7 just call if you need to see your gp I refused for six months but have an appointment for Wednesday as for counselling I’ve been waiting for cruse bereavement since November but there’s still a waiting list for eight to ten weeks but they do have a helpline too I wish I could help you more hun my soulmate passing has left me utterly truamatised I haven’t been able to even turn the television on since October just can’t believe what has happened we dreamed of growing old together he passed away three months before his 40th birthday im heartbreakon as you are so I’m always around whenever you need to chat hun but like I’ve been advised reach out I know well in my case anyone can say to bring my partner back im utterly truamatised but your in my thoughts take care as much as possible message whenever you want speak soon hun Adele x
And get back on to the doctors Tuesday hun to say your struggling you can’t be fobbed off ask for an emergency appointment don’t take no for an answer soeak soon x
HI debra so sorry to hear about your loss it’s heartbreaking it’s six months and ten days since my soulmate of seventeen years passed away in my arms im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen your in my thoughts take care speak soon x
Hi Debra, I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband. I know how hard it is for my mum coping with the loss of my dad so I understand what you’re going through. My mum and dad had so much planned, they were always planning a holiday or my dad was searching for motorbike parts for his next ‘project’ (on my eBay account!!). My mum is amazing, I don’t honestly know how she’s so strong (I’m sure she has her moments when I’m not around) I just struggle the most with being upset infront of her. I know she’s always there for me but no matter how many times she tells me to cry and that she’s there for me, it breaks my heart seeing her so upset. Take care xxx
Thinking of you hun take care xx
Hi Adele, thanks hun that’s really kind. It’s just comforting to know I’m not alone in all this. I’m scared to admit I need help, i haven’t let myself grieve properly which is probably why I’ve ended up getting myself in such a state. Same goes to you, if you ever need a chat I’m here to listen. You’re such a strong woman, just talking about how you feel is amazing. It was a massive step for me signing up to this. Take care, speak soon xx
Thankyou so much sweetie same with me I wouldn’t see the doctors so I’m there Wednesday it’s been six months and ten days today so I’ll let you know how I get on and thankyou for your kind words means alot your pretty brave to first time coming on talking about how you feel that takes guts and determination im proud of you keep posting keep in touch speak soon take care hun and ring the doctors Tuesday try and push for an appointment it will give your mum piece of mind aswell someone told me on here bottling it all up is the worst it’s true when you need to cry hun it’s natural emotions xx
Hi Woog93
I’m really sorry to hear about your dad. Xxx
I lost mine 2 years ago then my mum one year ago. “Devastated” doesn’t really sum it up…
I am still here though and determined to make the most of life as I know that is what my parents would want for me.
My tips from my experience are…let it all out! Have a really big cry whenever you need to. It helps.
Know your dad loved you so much. Not everyone wins blessed with that so it is a very special thing.
Take one day at a time.
Reach out for help as much as you can. This forum has really helped me and the online counselling is fantastic too.
Write things down. I wrote lots at first about my special memories with my parents.
Talk to your mum. She probably doesn’t want to upset you either but you are both there for each other.
I hope I don’t sound like I am telling you what to do but I hope it gives you hope that you will get through this and you will cherish your very special dad in your heart forever. Nobody can take that love away.
Ann xxx
I read lots on this site and it makes me feel a belonging in a world of grief I cannot understand or want to be in my dad died on 22 nd May and like you I’m struggling with how I feel and with my mum’s grief it’s so heartbreaking watching and listening to her she wants him back as we all do, it was a sudden collapse in a shop then 2 days ventilated in ITU before they turned the machines off. I don’t want to break down in front of my mum as she says she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me and my husband I cannot tell him how I’m feeling as I don’t think he’s wanting to hear me being constantly sad and Father’s Day was so sad it was also my wedding anniversary and work should I go back yes then no as I don’t want to talk to people or feel able to help others with problems I’m just so confused and sad sorry this is so long it’s my first post
I am so sorry to hear I lost my mom xmas eve 2010 to stomach cancer she was my rock hot a day goes by where i dont think of her. My dad has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in March and my heart is broken.