6 months

Its 6 months today since my sister died suddenly and completely unexpectedly. I feel like ive been living an hour at a time. Ive been coping ok with work and it keeps me busy.

Im struggling today though. Its starting to weigh heavy on my mind about the future ive lost. My sister and brother in law didnt have children and i dont have my only family either. She said to me at christmas “ah well, well just have to team up to bug him for the rest of our lives!” (I.e. my brother in law). That conversation was the last time i saw her.

My dad died 8 years ago, my mum is almost 80 and not in good health, my brother has his head firmly in the sand and isnt speak to anyone, and my brother in law has his own parents/sister. Although he said he’ll always be there for me and we’ll always be family (which i do believe he means and hes given me no reason to doubt him) im suddenly aware if he moves on i will literally be on my own. Ive gone from growing old with my sister to a future alone and that really scares me. My friends are all married with kids so although theyre around, their families take priority. I dont want to be alone.

Hello @vivmt,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad 8 years ago and your sister 6 months ago. It sounds as though things are very hard for you at the moment and you are worrying about your mum and being alone.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Take care - keep reaching out,


Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. Thinking about the future can be so overwhelming and fear provoking. I’ve found, as soon as I start doing this, I have to stop myself. None of us knows what the future holds and all we can do is simply tackle each day.