Hello this is my first post,
I lost my husband of 13 years, 6 weeks ago to covid, he was a healthy happy 40 year old! I’m 38 and we have two boys 11 and 8. I’m totally lost, the days are ok, but its the evenings and nights that I struggle. I miss him incredibly. The boys have been fab throughout and people say" How can you be lonely when you have them" but it’s just not the same. I can’t imagine how I’m going start a new life without him, I’ve been with him since I was 21.
Sarah x
Sarah, how devastating. Our normal every day to day human condition doesn’t allow us to go through these tormented emotional rollercoasters until …Wham… we are left to mourn, our loved ones, who we never ever imagined would be leaving us so soon. We needed their strength, love and understanding in our lives to help us survive. I hope and wish, you are able to show the boys that you are hurting inside, but, at the same time, they must mourn their loss too.
Be strong, and do all the things you feel you need to do to rid yourself of the deep rooted anger. We, who are left alone to try and carry on all have the same question… Why???
Sending hugs, and a comforting cuddle.
So sorry for your loss Sarah . 40 is no age . I lost my husband at the age of 64 within four weeks of being diagnosed with cancer .
Life is very cruel . Keep talking on here it really does help because we are all going through the same journey x
Dear Sarah,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my partner of 20 years, 5 weeks ago. We have a 14 year-old and a 9 year-old and I must say no one has said that to me. If they did, I’d think their experiences in life would not have involved grief. I hope it didn’t make you feel upset.
I am also finding the evenings difficult, when it’s very bad I asked my 9-year-old to sleep next to me and I find that helps. I call it a sleepover with mum.
I hope you are finding some comfort in your children. Mine both seem to have Pauls temperament, kind and gentle. I take warmth in that.
Thinking of you, we are here for you anytime.
Merrin x
This is my 1st post too. I lost my fiance of 6 years 4 weeks ago. Was the funeral yesterday miss him so much 
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I’m so sorry for your loss sally. My husbands funeral was last friday and the day after was my worst day by far. I really felt that day I wouldn’t make it. But I promise you the last week hasn’t been as bad. I feel a little (very little) more at peace. Hang in there tomorrow won’t be as bad
Sarah xx
Merrin, I’m so sorry for your loss too. Grief is an awful thing.
My 11 year old has slept by my side since the day his Dad went into hospital, he still continues to do so. People say it’s a comfort for him, but I know he does it for me really. He hates seeing me sad. It really helps to have him there when i wake up.
I hope you are doing ok. It’s a difficult and stressful time, especially with young children.
Love, hugs and strength to you xx
I’m so sorry 
life makes no sense does it. I’m so glad I found this little community it helps u feel less alone. Xxx
It certainly doesn’t make sense 
life is so cruel (as my kids say “it sucks”) I agree, it’s nice to be able to talk to people that get it! Xxx