My sister passed away 6 weeks ago on 17th December. She was 49 and had cancer. She had been unwell for 5 years with various, medical conditions. She had end stage kidney failure. Her cancer was diagnosed in July 2023, she was in severe pain a lot. It was too advanced, and she was too unwell for treatment. She had a very rapid deterioration. She passed away peacefully myself and myneice were with her. I am glad she is out of pain, she said she felt to young to go. I feel its so unfair, im finding it very hard to accept. I was very involved in her care, medical and financial needs. I reduced my hours in work , and then took time off work. I feel i now have a large void and feel lost. My life went round my sister. I am on HRT and setraline im 53, i have had propanolol, as im feeling very panicky, anxious and overwhelmed at times. My mood is very low, i cant see the point of things, or find anything to look forward to. Which is worrying me. I know i need to take it a step at a time, I am still off work and have been referred for support. I will need to go back to the doctor.
Hi Annie23, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my youngest brother just over 2 years ago under different circumstances and it was completely unexpected. That first year was dark and I thought the pain would never go away. It was only up until a few months ago that I started to accept his death and could enjoy myself without the guilt. My dad passed away a week after my brother with terminal cancer and I found it easier to accept my dad’s passing as he was also in pain and was in a hospice the last 8 weeks before he died. As much as I love and miss my dad, I didn’t want him to suffer anymore.
5 weeks ago today my beautiful youngest son passed away and I am going through those dark days again and then some as he is my child and he shouldn’t have been taken before me. It helps a little having others talk about having the same emotions and typing my feelings down on here. Just take it hour by hour and be kind to yourself 
Hello Annie
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, I lost my only sibling my brother on Feb 14th 2023 from cancer too, he had fought two previous cancers and won but this was an agressive sarcoma on his leg which spread to his lung. He was the light of my life and my very best friend he was 3yrs younger than me. I am heartbroken, feel free to private msg me if you want to. I too am on Seramil they are taking time to work though. This is a nice group, I prefer writing / typing to phoning. I wish you all the best. It will take time for sure, you do what you want to, rest, read, watch TV, walk whatever you wish to do. And reach out here too. Hugs to you.
Thank you for sharing
Cancer is such a horrible thing that took both of our sisters 
I’m so sorry for your loss - the pain is horrible 
Sending lots of love & compassion & when it feels dark please know you’re not alone