7 year

So I hope this doesn’t sound to ridiculous but just over 7 years ago my 58 year old father died very suddenly one morning and I was the one with him. I was 25. I worked through the anger, grief etc for over a year and a half afterwards but in recent months with my sisters wedding (where he should have been walking her down the aisle) followed by 3 family birthdays in 3 weeks including his own, I have cracked up. When I sleep I have the same nightmare that I am back in that hospital and I am listening, hearing, breathing and smelling all that I did that horrendous morning and when I wake up in a cold sweat, for a few seconds I actually believe it is a nightmare until I remember that it really is the reality. I have a really successful career and amazing family and friends and am just suffering and wondered if anyone has been through anything similar?

Hi Els,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. No, that doesn’t sound ridiculous at all! There is no timeline on grief and it is understandable that significant events like your sister’s wedding would bring things back for you.

It sounds as though things are feeling very overwhelming for you the last few weeks, and you could really do with some support. I hope that it helps a bit to be able to write things down here and share experiences with others who’ve lost a loved one. Have a look at our Life After Bereavement section to read and reply to what others have written: https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement

If you need some further support, you could contact your GP about bereavement support in your area, or call the Cruse Bereavement helpline on 0808 808 1677​

We have some information on our site about living with grief longer-term, which has been produced by the bereavement support teams at our hospices: http://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-long-does-grief-last

Do your any of your family and friends know about these nightmares you’ve been having?

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