Today would have been my husband’s Col’s 70th birthday. It will be a difficult day for me and my sons to get through. Col was such a loving, caring devoted husband, father and grandfather. How I miss his love, company, humour and friendship. He died suddenly
and unexpectedly 6 months ago, it seems
so much longer since I was with my true soulmate. We met when we were 16 and 17 in 1973, married in 1976 and enjoyed a long and very happy marriage. I miss him so much, cry relentlessly. We have so many happy memories that we hang on to but at the same time they make me sad as I know he has gone forever. It’s Easter and his special birthday and going to be a tough time to get through. I try so very hard to be strong, am finding life so very difficult without him. We were planning to go away for his birthday and also had a cruise booked around the Greek Islands in May, another time I will find hard to get through. What I would give to see him walk through the door. We had been retired for a few years and basically together 24/7, enjoyed getting out and about and being together. Few weeks before he passed he said being retired was the happiest time of his life. I miss my soulmate so much and often feel there’s nothing left for me anymore. They say you never get over losing someone so close but learn to live with it. It’s a terrible journey, the sadness I feel I have never experienced before. When Col first died I had loads of support from friends and family unfortunately this support seems to have vanished. I realise people have their own busy lives but how I miss their support whilst I try to navigate this awful journey of grieving, the overwhelming sadness of missing my constant companion, the waves of emotions that come from nowhere and when I least expect. I try to take a day at a time as the future is too raw to contemplate. So to all out there trundling along this awful journey, my heart goes out to you. 
@Maisie7 so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my wife 6 weeks ago yesterday, so appreciate how raw life can be.
Easter is the first special occasion without her and it’s hard. One of my granddaughters visited yesterday, with her boyfriend and cooked me a lovely roast.
When they left the floodgates opened as I knew my wife would have loved the day.
Today my son and family are visiting, so that’ll be another emotional time. She will never see our 7 year old granddaughter again or the 2 year old grandson who keeps asking ‘Where’s Nanny?’
It’s so bloody hard.
The next special occasion for me is the 30th April. My wife’s ashes are being interned in the Church where we got married in 67. It’s also her birthday, so I’ve asked everyone coming to bring her a card. That’s going to be very emotional.
To say I’m heartbroken is really an understatement. 
I know life has to go on, but there are times when I just want it all to end.
My family & friends have been brilliant but they do have their own lives to live, so understand contact will dwindle over time.
I cannot stay in my house anymore so planning to move back to 
as soon as I can. I’ll also be nearer to the church where my love is.
So all the best to you Maisie. Our journey is hard, but sadly we have to make it.
Thank you for your kind words, sending love and strength to you
I am so sorry, my husband died 18 months ago. We met in 1968 so I can relate to how you feel. I just try to get by day by day but he is never off my mind. I have days when I think it is getting easier but I think this is how it’s going to be. Take care and hope is birthday will not be too hard for you xx