8 months gone

Finding it hard to cope after the loss of my husband and best friend. anxiety that has got worse as time has gone on, scared, lonely, and miss him so very much to the point of physical pain in my stomach. my head feels like it will explode some some days. I’ve gone from being a very strong person to not being able to cope with even minor problems, i don’t recognise myself any more. I went back to work in may but I’ve just handed my notice in after 20 years of working (nurse, nhs) as i simply cannot cope with pressure, I’ve no idea whats next? I have an amazing family and good friends but still feel that they don’t fully understand or know what to say. I’ve been researching counselling and medication which has led me here, its a start right?

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Hello belle24, we can’t expect others to share our personal grief or even understand it unless they’ve experienced it themselves. Grief is the most lonely pain we will ever endure. But it is also something that we can learn to survive through. It’s kind of like a ship wreck; at first we are disoriented and just surviving out of instincts; holding onto anything or anyone near you that keeps you afloat; then the waves hit you constantly at the beginning threatening to drown you; but with time we learn that we can survive these waves as they lessen and you learn to swim … I don’t know if you understand me. I hope I’m not confusing you even more. Please know that there are others out there who are trying to learn how to navigate through these pains too. My heart goes out to you.

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My coping skills have taken a hit for sure, too. I was not working as a nurse, but that’s my background, too. I wouldn’t have been able to do it though, even part time as I was. Minor things have become major for me. The house stresses me out, outside work, etc. and anything out of the usual sends me for a loop. I think it’s part of the process and I hope things improve for you.

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