8 months on and suddenly not coping too well

Hi again, I am eight months on from losing my hubby. I know I have been coping pretty well since losing him and have been all on my own sorting everything out. I have been trying to keep busy as was dreading the winter months and even managed to do some decorating. I have always been a very anxious person but I have been coping. But on Sunday evening I just started to feel very anxious and then I get very down. I do not drive and used to go everywhere with my hubby and now I am completely alone apart from my darling doggies who I could not do without. I live in a village and apart from walking the dogs and visiting the shop occasionally I do not go out. I have my shopping delivered. Now, with this awful virus and talk of vaccines it is making me incredibly nervous. I am starting to feel as though I don’t want to leave the safe confines of my village, but I know it is all in my head. I was so used to going everywhere with hubby and the thought of going anywhere on my own is quite frightening to me. I am sure there must be others left on their own who are feeling the same way? I am so disappointed in myself for starting to feel like this and I hope it passes.

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I know how you feel. My husband and I would do everything together. I also have a dog, which is good as I have to go out and walk her. It sounds like you are feeling this way because of the virus and the new restrictions, and it’s making you even more nervous. You have done well to keep busy and do some decorating. I find keeping busy really helps.
Do you know anyone in the village you could meet up with, someone with a dog too and you could walk together. Is there anyone you could could ring when you feel overwhelmed?

Yes, you suddenly find yourself on your own and dogs are a saviour arn’t they. I know everything is not ‘normal’ at the moment and I am scared of having the vaccine because I have had reactions to medications that have made me ill. I am scared of going into town several miles away, whereas before didn’t think anything of it. I don’t think it’s just because of the virus although that is not helping! Perhaps when things get more normal I can get a taxi in to town at some point. I feel so silly. I don’t have any children, but I speak to my mum a lot but she is elderly so don’t like to burden her. I have made friends with a lady in the village but because of lockdown have not seen her for a few months. I think I am scared I will have a panic attack and if I am on my own it’s scary. I have had them in the past.

Hello I totaly understand we’re your coming from I am writing this while sat in my car & my daughter in law has gone in the shop for me I on the other hand did loads on my own as my husband worked long hours so this for me is ridiculous as I was always out & about with family & friends but just feel anxious now & scared am goner cry whn I get in the shop my first online shop last week had me sobbing as I shopped for me & pete now it’s just me as my children all have thr own homes & lives am lucky in the respect thy still do look after me so my heart goes out to you being so alone but sometimes I actually do just want to be alone to reflect & cry & be so angry as he was to young to die am mad at the world & the doctor who missed his brain bleed he was 46 47 the week after he died & such a shock as it was so sudden I found him which makes it so much more sad & empty & lost but big hugs to you both sending love xx😢

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I am so sorry you found your husband like that it must have been devastating. Yes, I felt very angry too as my hubby got Parkinson’s and after only being diagnosed in April 2016 he died last May and he used to be so fit and healthy and we wanted to grow old together. I don’t mind being on my own either and my hubby was cycling and football mad so was often off to a football match in London or even off to Belgium for the day so I was often on my own with the dogs which I didn’t mind at all. But now It has all changed. It’s possible I would be absolutely fine going into town on my own so it is the fear of the unknown I suppose.
I know what you mean about the online shopping as all my hubby’s favourite things still come up that I used to buy and I have often felt very tearful doing the shop. I still have things left in the cupboards that I bought for him because I thought he would be coming home right up until the last day before he died and I will never eat them.
I’m glad you have your children to look after you. Big hugs xx

Awww that’s a lovley reply thankyou & yes same my pete loved his footi Liverpool he nearly became a semi professional but had a knee accident which left him with a pin in his knee he also loved his fishing I have loads of fishing gear in my garage & still more stuff came am just sat now glass of wine in my kitchen crying why is it so hard but still early days am told day at a time but I prefer min by min coz the whole day throws different emotions at me, thort about a dog again but think would be to painful as we had black lab zico who died last jan aged 15 he was petes best friend thy went ever were together just this time last year I had a husband & dog now it’s just me !!! :cry::broken_heart:nessa xxx

I know how you feel as lost my partner 7 months ago. I too live in a village & don’t go anywhere unless to pick up click & collect shopping once a fortnight
I’m lucky in that I drive otherwise I would be lost
There is only so much you can do on your own
It’s a couples world. Hardest thing I’m finding is having no one to talk to at home anymore
What part of the country are you in?
Always here to chat

Hi Rosie. yes I really miss having him to talk to or to have a moan but I do still talk to him every day and my dogs think I’m mad! Glad you can drive. I did have a couple of lessons many, many years ago when I was young but the driving instructor was losing patience with me so I stopped and have never really wanted drive since as it just scares me!
I see you like gardening, so do I, love it and it kept me busy all through the Summer, it was a great help. I broke my wrist too like you back in 2014 and they had to pull the bones back into place. I had to wear a cast the full length of my arm for the first two weeks, which I hated, made me feel claustrophobic! I don’t have any problems with my wrist now though.
I live in Kent.
Lovely to hear from you x

My hubby was a Chelsea supporter but used to go to Wimbledon and the occasional West Ham match. He was a Londoner, born in Leytonstone. He used to pop over the channel to watch Bruge in Belgium sometimes! Yes, like you I have loads of his stuff in the garage, all cycling bits and pieces and still have two of his bikes which I can’t bear to part with at the moment.
Yes, take things one day at a time and let all your emotions out. .
I am sure you will get another dog when you feel ready, they are such good company and get you out of the house.