8 months today and still so hard

It’s been 8 months today for my mam…I still can’t and won’t accept it. She passed on the 3rd March so I feel every 3rd of the month is like a little milestone. A reminder that she’s not here. Life still so hard…u go through pretending sometimes thinking…I haven’t seen u for so long, Ull be home soon that I’ll see u soon. I look at her smiling face on photo, miss her so much. Breaks my heart.
I’m just lost and stuck with my life…been through the emotions with grief, the adrenaline, the bad down times and everything in between. Now I just feel stuck in no mans land. I can’t move on, my life’s changed forever. No motivation, no enjoyment in doing anything. Still get days where I want to hide at home under the covers in bed, block the world out. Let the world carry on without me. Just stuck and numb, i don’t have a life right now, just an existence at that :pensive: what do u do as time gets on? Nothing’s changed

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Emmab, don’t despair life will get better but it takes time and you have to work at it. Right now life outside is moving on and you will. Grief eats and bits at you and it takes a lot of will power to bit back but in time you will a little. If you read others post you will see we all go through these tough times and you are not alone. It never goes totally, we won’t want it to because our special person is part of us. There’s a poem that talks about the tide on the sea shore ‘and in time you learn to move back up the beach as the tide comes in’ and that’s what you will have to do, not let the sea touch you.
Take care and we are all here for you. Sxx

Thanks susie, just so lost. Your right , we don’t want to move on and forget our special people and pretend that life is ok right now because it’s not xx

Hi- lost my mum in August, am finding it so so hard. It feels like it is getting harder every day. It also feels so lonely, I feel like a big black blanket has wrapped itself around me. x

It felt like that for me too in the early months xx

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Hi everyone, it’s just so hard isn’t it we all know our loved ones will leave us one day but when it actually happens it’s so tough, I worry at Times that I will forget how my mum sounded, I never ever want to forget anything about her, I lost mum in July and I think about her every day and some times I get this panic feeling and realization that she’s gone and it’s so raw, I just wish I knew she was ok :pensive: and your all right about moving forward,it doesn’t get any easier, my thoughts are with you all.
Lynn x

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Hi Lynn
That realisation feeling is unreal at times. I’d wake up come downstairs and say good morning to her ( I have her ashes) I always say good morning/ night love u, miss u, then one day when I got up went to make a cuppa and it just hit me like a ton of bricks that she’s not coming bk. I do try not to think about it too deep because that’s when the realisation comes xx

I do that too, I have a photo of her with my dad at the side of my bed and I always say good night, love you and morning mum when I wake :relieved: I went to place last week and they had their Christmas stuff in and after a few minutes i just froze and realized where mum was and it upset me,