I thought I was doing so well after the initial devastating impact of Mum’s death, but taking a dip now 9 months later. It wa 12 days from her feeling poorly to her death - full of cancer. Shocking. Suddenly I’m back to the gut wrenching nausea this week, realising she’s never coming back. Like a part of me died with her. I’m lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband. This feeling though is like nothing I have ever experienced before - the world has changed forever and it just feels unfathomable. I know it’s early days. Just wanted to put this out there because I think this is a thing that others experience too and good to share. A stage of grief that we keep revisiting until we really know it in every part of our self. Love and strength to all.
@Garden_girl grief can be very savage can’t it? My experience has been very up and down since the loss of my Mum suddenly in January last year. I have been stunned by how grief stricken I have felt. My Mum was 80 years old when she died, we had only just celebrated her birthday. I assumed she would be around for years and that I would have some kind of notice that her life was coming to an end. Not so unfortunately, she collapsed and died after going shopping one day! I am still trying to adapt to this new life without my Mum. I want to find some joy again and I search hard but it’s hard because I miss her everyday. Sending you best wishes, take care xx
Thankyou Rosiepink. Yes it’s so hard and words hardly touch it do they? I’m so sorry about your Mum. My Mum was 73 and full of life and then suddenly it was over. Good for her - and for your Mum that it was so quick, but devastating for us without them. I saw a tree today with a dead branch and thought, that’s how it feels - I’m still here but there’s this dead bit inside. It’s going to take time. Sending you my best wishes xx
I’m going through this emotion that every post on here gets me emotional now. I lost my mum last year aged 95, I do feel lost. Don’t know where I’m going except either in life. I think if you have a partner it’s a little easier, I’m on my own now.
I’m so sorry about your Mum Keith. Very hard. This forum is a great way of sharing your feelings, and reading others’ experiences can be a comfort to not feel alone. Whilst relationships are all different, grief is universal. Take care.
Its 5 months since i lost Mum and the dead tree analogy is exactly how i feel when people try and encourage me to do things, go places, resume hobbies. It feels like just piling unecessay decoration on the outer branches and ignoring the fact that i feel hollow and dead inside. 
So sorry Ally. I really hear you. It’s still very early days. Just coming to terms with the notion that it’s happened. Sending you best wishes x
That’s how I feel @Ally6, everyone around me says to me move on like go to work more, have hobbies, spend more time too cook etc I’m tired people telling me it’s easy things like I lost my mum 3 months ago. I had no support taking care of her whilst she was alive nor any support from gp who believes I should have gotten over my grief in 2 weeks. Grief has no timescale, it’s different for everyone. I have been going work a lot, even then when i stare at my screen sometimes it’s just hits me like a wave and I start crying and I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I’m trying really hard putting a front but I feel like ghost in a shell. I feel nothing without my mum. I keep wishing it’s bad dream and I’ll wake up from this nightmare soon. It seem like time goes to fast. I just wish she was here so I can stop feeling the pain of losing her. I’m sorry for every loss, i hope everyone able get navigate their loss as best as we all can.
Im so sorry for your loss, and shocked that your gp could be so insensitive. 
Are there any other GPs in your practice - can you ask to see someone else? If you feel you’d benefit from counselling support you can refer yourself on the NHS website. Or does your employer offer an employee assistance prograame? These can often have 24/7 helplines plus access to counselling without the long waiting list. 3 months is still really early days, the numbness is wearing off and the pain really kicking in. I totally understand that feeling of hoping its a nightmare that you’ll suddenly wake up from. Even now when i pull up outside the house part of me thinks maybe, just maybe the lights will be on and she’ll be at the window looking out for me. Hugs to you 
@Ally6 this is how I felt last year, my motivation and enthusiasm for life seemed to have evaporated. Rather than forcing myself to make plans for events and activities, I accepted that this was part of the grieving process. Now that over a year has passed I feel that there has been a shift towards the light. I don’t want to be stuck feeling weighed down by sorrow so gradually I am engaging with being open to opportunities. Take your time, best wishes xx
@mia4 I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. Please know that what you’re experiencing is very normal after such a devastating loss, especially as it’s still so recent. I’m still trying to adjust and I lost my Mum in January last year. There are no words to soothe, but I know that in time the very raw and brutal pain will shift. Gradually you’ll be able to remember happier memories and manage the grief. It’s not easy, I still have my sad times but ultimately there’s an acceptance and a sense of peace. In the aftermath of a huge loss we struggle to come to terms with our experience, but in time we realise that there’s no going back. Grief changes us and our lives forever. Best wishes, take care xx
Hello, So sorry to hear about your Mum Garden G. And everybody else’s loss and support. As others have already said, grief is a journey. We lost Mum December 27th 2022. Like Rosie P said, I thought Mum would be around a little longer. We had celebrated her 80th in the July . She was living with Alzheimer’s but became unwell and then died in hospital 2 days later. No notice. Is normal to feel how you are feeling. I have ups and downs. I have a great family, friends and job but often feel empty inside. I’m trying to adapt to this new normal. Is very hard though. Please find a different GP. One who understands grief and loss. The GP I saw was amazing. He talked to me about his own loss of a parent and I could see the pain in his face and eyes. He understood… Take care and keep posting. We are all here to support. Jules x
It’s surprising how little help there actually is regarding support with grieve. You just can’t change your life like that, work does help, but you still have to go home after work and that’s the problem.