9 weeks have passed - it’s so hard without him

I lost my partner 9 weeks ago now after being together for 17 years. I looked at his photos earlier and so miss everything about him, the creases on his face, on his forehead and most of all I miss his warm touch. I nodded off watching TV today and when I woke up, for a moment thought he was sat in the chair looking at me. It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions- my lovely family have been here the last few days I feel okay one minute then the feelings of sadness overwhelm me - so powerful that it frightens me and I can’t stop the tears

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It’s still early days, let the tears flow.
There’s no rules and no instructions for us.
Take a step, an hour, a day, at a time and know that you have a safe space here…
Hugs

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@Anastasia you must be in deep shock . Have you that big knot in your stomach my love . The shock calms but the loss is something that we all know on here . Please reach out anytime to talk on here . So sorry

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@Anastasia
Hey… I’m just checking in with you to see how you are today?

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My husband died on the 1st February 2024. Ive had exactly the same things happen to me too, its like a living nightmare, you hope you’ll wake up and it was a bad dream. I hate it when people say its early days!! Hugs to you xxxxx

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Thanks for your replies, it does help knowing others understand although I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Some days are less painful than others but that longing to be with him is always there - like you say a knot in my stomach, an ache. I count my blessings that I have a wonderful family and friends who keep me going

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I feel your pain hun. I lost my husband on the 13th march it was so sudden. I feel sick all the time and i cant stop crying.x

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I feel for you too, it’s so raw just now, please reach out here if it helps - it’s like people describe it, a safe place to vent your emotions x

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Virtually the same here , 12th March we lost my wife , can’t sleep more than a couple of hours and keep bursting into tears .

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Its gut retching isn’t it, i dont feel like eating anything or doing anything, the house is too quiet.

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It’s just that now , a house , was a family home for the 17 years we’ve lived here now just feels different without her here , even though it’s still me and the kids feels empty.

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I am so sorry for your loss,i lost my husband January this year ,we had been together 25 years ,i try and take one day at a time , it is not easy .You are grieving and i feel for you I hope you find the strength to carry on.My thoughts are with you at this sad time

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My husband died on 15th Feb 2024 after 57 years of married life. I know what you are going through. There is not a day when the tears don’t fall. Even though I have a brilliant daughter and couldn’t have coped without her, the loneliness is so hard. I think of the things we have done the holidays shared that we’ll never have again. Friends and neighbours have been so supportive but you have to enter that empty house and there’s no one to share your day or to have someone there to do nothing at all. I yearn to say things I wished I’d said while he was dying and feel guilty about some of the things I did say.
He was given just two months to live after his diagnosis of bowel cancer, I was in shock and denial we didn’t have the time to talk things through.
He died at home without much help from the care professionals until the very end and I still haven’t recovered from the trauma.

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I have felt exactly the same as you. I only had three days when we knew there wasnt anything they could do, there was a chance he might pull through so i spent all of the time with him in his hospital room doing all i could to try and keep him alive he was on the highest level of oxygen and whenever he took his mask off to eat or drink the levels went down!! I tried to stay positive for him. So because of that we didnt have time for a heart to heart and like you im sad of the things i didnt say. We saw the hospital chaplain the day before he died and that helped us both she was so kind, we both have a faith in jesus and it was a comfort for us, i have to be thankful that he was with me and our three sons at the end. Its so hard to be without our best friend, lover, comforter and confidante. Its so quiet so i have his favourite radio station on for background noise.

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I do get strength from my family and friends and also from this website because I know I can vent my emotions, I hope you can too. Nothing takes the pain away - but for me it does help me get through the lowest of times. It also helps to know you aren’t alone and others here really do understand and honestly care

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@Dino13 yes it’s so quiet even though I have my son . The constant chatter we had is gone . I miss my Andrew so

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Sorry for your loss ,my husband died from terminal cancer in January 2024.so i understand how you feel.Try not to beat yourself up ,you are grieving for your husband and it is early days for you.I am sure your husband would not want you to feel guilty.It is lonely for me coming back to a empty house,You take care.

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