9 weeks in since my wife passed away

I lost my wife to Covid 16th February, we were married 26 years and together 30 years, she was my whole world, then her mother passed away 17th March, at first I was numb and did everything I had to do, arranging the funeral, paperwork, accounts and things like that, now that things have gone quiet, I am finding it very difficult and I find myself putting off going to bed for as long as possible, then as soon as I open my eyes in the morning it all starts again, try to focus on our many many happy memories, but all I keep doing is going over and over her passing

I am only 4 weeks into this journey. My husband was only 50 and it was completely unexpected so I still can’t quite believe how my entire life has altered for good. People here will understand and will support you. Keep posting and ask for help from any family and friends who genuinely offer it. Sending hugs

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Hello Gary, I am so sorry that two very special people have left you in such a short time. You will feel helpless and alone but I am impressed with you for trying to remember the good times, the memories that are special to you.
I know how difficult it is going off to bed and knowing that it will the same when you wake up. It does get easier and if you can push yourself to go to bed at the same time each night it makes you feel better during the following day. It takes a lot of willpower and I still can’t do it for more than a week but I do know that the days are better when I do. Routine and willpower and if you can’t sleep then again have a routine of getting up and doing something then back after 20 minutes to try again.
56 years is a long time to together and it will take time to come to terms with your new life. There are many on this site who have been left after so many years and I myself had 45 years with my soulmate, so please read some of these posts and you are very welcome to post anytime with how you are doing.
You should be very proud of yourself that you have dealt with all the legal bits which can be very difficult. Take small steps and then say to yourself ‘I have done well’ and feel proud, you will get there Gary. S

Thank you, I will try and post as I do find some comfort (maybe not the right words) in that I am not alone in this and there are plenty of others going through the same, I am so sorry for your loss, please take care.

Thank you for those comments, I have found it helps when I make myself do things, whether it be just going for a walk or doing some housework, the hardest is when I am just sitting and thinking, please take care.

Hi Gary, sorry to read if your loss. I lost my partner of 21 years in the 15th of Feb.

Like you I go to bed very late and when i wake i feel immobile.

I didn’t allow myself to think when organising the funeral and feel quite emotionally drained now. I think I will probably just spend the next few months just learning to live again, slowly and just concentrate on the children.

They say be gentle with yourself I hope your managing to, it’s all that can be expected, during this tumultuous time.

Mx

Thank you, so sorry for your loss as well, we are both at the same stage in terms of how long it has been, I feel it is going to be a very long road ahead, one of the best comments somebody said to me was “it is like stepping stones, take them one at a time and don’t give up when you take one step forward and 6 back, just start again”.

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That’s so true isn’t it,and it takes as long as it does.

I give myself small daily tasks, when I feel ready will make it two.

Getting out of bed by 10.30 for example, if I fail there is always tomorrow.

Mx

hi gary i feel the same way as you i lost my partner in febuary im avoiding going to bed and first thing in the morning the reality sinks in every day is a struggle to carry on tomorrow will be 11 weeks since he died we were together for 32 years .

I lost my Husband on 10th February to covid we were married for 43 years together 45 but i jus feel so lost and bitter they just seemed to allow him to die he had battled cancer 12 years ago he had a lot of infections last year including pneumonia and always battled back but because he was also diabetic hospital seemed to give up he had symptoms real mild didnt even have a temperature was taken in with infection but tested positive hed only been out of hospital five days and he had not been out of house because he werent well enough and after 10 days they phoned and said theyd put him on oxygen and they were withdrawing treatment so if we wanted to see him wed better go sooner rather than later and yet i also got covid at same time and was real sick couldnt even get out of bed and every symptom going accept problems with lungs but it as left me with long term memory problems. but im under pension age and i have never had to work so now i just always think hes going to walk through the door or wring i try to think of good memories but its hard because i just dont see a futcher we have travelled a lot and now everything stops. no more going out for meals it just feels like everything as gone. and we only had funeral four weeks ago and internment next month because of restrictions. its just good to talk to someone that understands and that his going through the same instead of always pretending everything’s OK.

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hi when i lost my partner 11weeks ago it was a shock everything was normal in the day but towards the afternoon things were different . back in early january he had a pain in his leg but he said its probably cramp it only lasted a day the following fortnight the respiratory nurses called to our home because my partner had copd they should have checked his leg but they didnt the following week he was sitting by the back door he said to me im having a panic attack so dont fuss over me but to me it didnt look like a panic attack . so i phoned for an ambulance the lady on the phone told me and my son to do cpr before the paramedics arrived we did that there was nothing anyone could have done to save him he died of dvt and pulmonary embolism . im so lost without him

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