Has anyone else got the feeling of a kind of knot in the stomach that just won’t go away? Kind of like nerves before a driving test or an important exam but much much worse. I wake up with this every morning since I lost my Mum and it’s having an effect on me. I can’t concentrate properly, eat properly and find I can only function enough to get me through the day. I don’t know how to cope with it and if any else feels or has felt the same, I would be so grateful for any advice. It’s seems to be getting harder to cope now than it was at first, because I think then I was just numb and in shock, and the feelings are coming back, and the desolation of the rest of my life alone without my mum is heartbreaking 
and I just don’t know how to manage without Mum 
Hi I lost both parents within 12 months and the anxiety is unreal! I lost mum in august and am still not able to return to work! I totally understand how you feel sending you strength xxx
I think it’s to do with feeling we have lost the anchor point in our lives. Our minds react by feeling adrift and scared.
I really don’t know how to solve it, as I still feel it too although perhaps less intensely now, but I do think it is quite natural to feel this way.
Your doctor might be able to give you something to help.
Hi Sheena,
Yes I feel it too. Sometimes it’s worse than other times. It’s like a confidence thing. When I am out and about or faced with a new challenge it is worse. It has definitely eased a little though over the past 3 years. It’s that horrible feeling of reality kicking they have gone and you have to carry on somehow.
Hard to explain really but yes it’s still there
Deborah
Do you all work and how long did you take off work? I am 2 month down the line and nowhere near ready?? X
Hi Deborah. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I feel a little better knowing that others are feeling a similar thing. It is horrible to experience and as someone else said it’s probably to do with losing a very important person in our lives I sometimes feel almost like a child again, one that’s wandered off on the supermarket and can’t find their Mum. I just want to cry out for her “where are you, don’t leave me, I’m lost”. And that makes the knot in my stomach worse. But I suppose we have to carry on so I’m sending love and hugs to anyone on this awful situation - we didn’t ask for it and none of us deserve it. I just want my Mum!
Hi, speirsr,
I am retired now so don’t work.
Everyone is different with how much time they take. And I guess it dept on the job you do and how many hours you work.
Deborah
Hi Sheena,
What you are feeling is normal. It’s grief making you feel so helpless and then thf anxiety comes.
It’s all about controlling it just to get through each day. Just plan for each day. That is more than enough to do
Sending love
Deborah
Yes it has been horrible this loss of confidence feeling anxiety and a knot inside.
It has been worse because the cat died on the anniversary my husband died last year.
She was a comfort for two years and I knew she wasn’t right somehow. She was thirteen and a half. I felt awful I found it hard coping when she was under my feet. But then I miss the comfort. Being totally alone felt worse.
I keep wondering about another pet.
I go by the pet food and still think of I do not need it now.
My husband was in his last part of life in hospital three years ago now.
I just came back from the lake District this week for two nights.
Still not completely confident but the beauty of the fells was amazing in the clear sun I felt lucky as had expected rain as before.
I felt so pleased to find a nice indoor swimming pool where we stayed with no one in it the second morning. So relaxing.
I had lost confidence with lots of crowds. I have tried to do yoga on line but am not very good at it yet but think it has helped a bit.
Painting has also helped me too. Singing as well. No one can hear me but little things are nice. Crazy golf and things like that. Knitting.
Hi Enorac,
I am glad you have found quite a lot of things to keep you active and distracted.
It certainly helps to keep occupied and going away is great. I went to Portsmouth to visit my brother last weekend and it was just so lovely to go somewhere different.
I have set up a small business from home. It has helped me to interact with people, venture out of my house and it allows me to work just in the summertime and Christmas time which is more than enough for now.
Sending love
Deborah
Hello Sheena, we lost our wonderful mum after a horrible time for her. Ending unconscious in a hospice. That was in February this year and we are now coming up to that time of year when it all started. You have described the feelings so well. I went to Sainsbury this week, which I avoid now as it’s just too painful and felt exactly as you describe. I just had to leave. I just want my mum back. I am dreading the next few months but just take one day at a time. I sm working part time which helps. It’s the only time I feel anywhere near normal.
I wish you well and peace. The worst thing is the brain won’t let you move on. I just feel sad and hopeless most of the time. 
I know exactly how you feel. It just gets harder and harder, especially with Christmas round the corner, which my Mum loved. I don’t think I can face it this year but I’ll have to try. I don’t know what to do.
I’m thinking of you and sending you support. Take care of yourself and post whenever you need to.
Hi Sheena,
No need to thank me as it’s fine.
Since my mum passed I have found Xmas time so painful . I have to carry on for my family. So I have found doing everything even the food shopping online is best. That way I dont have to see the Christmas decorations in shops, smiley people everywhere or hear Christmas music being played. Done this for the past 2 yrs and it helps
Hope this helps
Deborah