A brief introduction from a newbie

Losing a partner
1

Hi

Just joined after the page keeps popping up on my Facebook so thought I’d give it a try.

I lost my wife unexpectedly in June 2022 following a short stay in hospital.

Since then my life seems to have just stagnated and the firm I was working at going bust last May didn’t help.

Although of retirement age I am still doing occasional work for myself (chartered engineer) to give me something to do.

Although I’ve lost my parents, losing my partner was like losing part of me. You cannot explain to anyone what the loss means to you and all those little things you miss.

For instance pop to a job and when home I don’t get, “what was the house like”. . “Is it nice there” . . . Or if I go out for a ride, (life long biker, she wasn’t), no “how was it?. . . L where did you go?…how far ? and that’s a short ride!)

Also the house has lost its life essence, she had lived here previously so her grown up lads always saw it as ‘home’, now it isn’t the same for any of us.

Even though I had been married before, we just clicked, north and south joined. I was with my sister recently and said “I didn’t really realise how close, how bonded, how together we were until she’d gone”.

Like I have seen here and other places, I get the “ why don’t you do this” advice from people who really do not understand.

Anyway that’s a brief history of why I’m here and will see if any of this helps.

Although writing things down helps some, I think I’m more of a ‘real life’ tactile person and because that’s missing so is a huge chunk of my life.
I need something more, something to aim for, someone to be there, but how, or do I, I don’t really know.

Thanks for reading this long ramble if you get this far. X

11 Likes
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Theres many if us like yourself, a house no longer a home, a part time job that fills a gap, a longing for something but don’t know what! Probably a life worth having but not sure in what way we want the new life.

My partner was from the north and cane south for his work and met me. We had 16 years together before he went out and never came home. Not quite at retirement but that was to be the fun time to look forward to, bow i don’t know what it holds but i’ll make something of it.

What will be will be but I’m hopeful lol

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All of your comment ring true to me, the general chat when you get home, what, where, who etc just telling the other person how you got on, what you saw etc
These are the things I miss, having someone who is interested in the things that matter to you!
I’m missing this closeness so much, keep going that’s all you can do, good luck

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Hi . I feel the same about the house it’s not a home anymore.
I lost my husband two years ago and I miss the chat when I come back after a day out.
I have starting making a new life for myself but I find that coming back into an empty house is the worst thing, there is nobody there to share your story with about what you have done or who you have spoken to. I keep finding the strength to go forward with my life and try new experiences.
This year I will try to have my first holiday on my own and this will be hard . I love meeting new people and I am quite a friendly chatty person so this has helped me to gain friendships.
The only way is forward and to try and find some happiness.
Take care.