Hello all, has any one in the group, felt a cold presence around them and near them at night, I lost my U.S girlfriend in Aug this your, so its only while ago now, I met her on line about over 5 years ago now, but she died suddenly on 13th Aug 2023, and at night now I’ve been feeling a cold presence around my legs and knees, & yet I’m fully dressed, and there are no windows or doors open in the room, so cold air from out side that’s coming in to the room, the loss of her has effected me a lot, as I wanted to go and meet up with her some time next year, now that will not happen, I miss her lots, and my love for her is still there, it broke my heart when she died, as its at night we use to chat on line till the sun light hours in the morning, we not lived together and she was in the U.S and I here in london England, but there is now a big hole in my heart, where I loved her, do you ever get over a big love loss, or dose it stay with you all your remaining life
Hello @Desmond, I’m very sorry for the loss of your girlfriend. I’m just giving this a gentle bump for you - hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.
Hello Desmond. Your post is interesting and I am sorry that these things have happened to you since your girlfriend died. . I believe that you feel what you feel but I can’t for the life of me see how your US girlfriend’s spirit could be responsible. For one thing, you have never met, however close you became online. For another thing, she has never been to your house, and has had nothing at all to do with your legs! Sorry if that sounds flippant, but it’s true.
For what it’s worth, I think that because you would have liked to get to know her better, your mind is trying to compensate by giving you these sensations. You clearly think of ‘what might have been’ a lot.
My advice to you, hard though it may be, is to accept the fact that your girlfriend has died and try to move on. People in actual, rather than online, relationships, lose partners, including me. Life has to go on.
There is no way to get what you wanted. You need to get on with your life and keep this episode as a treasured memory. Until you do, she will haunt you for the rest of your life and that would be ridiculous. I am pretty sure that she wouldn’t want that for you if she was a decent human being.
Another thought crossed my mind too, and you’re not going to like it. It is this - are you absolutely sure she has died? I ask because the whole situation has been long, drawn out and apparently going nowhere. Maybe she just had enough?
Whatever comes of this, I wish you well, but advise you not to dwell on something that can never be. My husband died, but I have had to carry on. I suggest you do the same and accept that life’s a bitch sometimes. Ann
Me again, Desmond. When I replied before, I didn’t answer all your questions, sorry.
You asked if you ever get over such a loss. I haven’t but I was with my husband for 57 years so it was a long time and he was my life. I know it will stay with me for the rest of my life. However, I am old. We were together much much longer than you. You don’t give your age but if you are fairly young, you should grab what’s left of your life with both hands and live it! There is no point moping about what can never be, so if you have the chance to make a life for yourself, take it.
If you had met her, you might not have got on. It happens with long term penfriends. Letters tend to say what you want them to say but when real life kicks in, it can be different.
Please don’t put your late girlfriend on a pedestal, or turn her into a saint. She might have been lovely but equally, she might not have been. Look to the future, not the past!
Yea I understand a lot of what you are saying and yes I dis question if she was dead or not, but know I know she has gone, I just feel it, we were so close, & I miss here lots, I still love her, I did not have what you & you hubby had, or friendship/relationship was not as long as yoir, but just because its was not as long as yours dose not mean for 1 min that I did not LOVE her or that she did not LOVE me, I knew her very well indeed, we both had crazy life’s and that is one of the reasons I think she died,I was not there to PROTECT her from her self, you sound a very older women, the fact that you were married for 57 years proves that, me and Liz were only in our 50s , the fact that our feelings for each other lifes, were not how they should have been, dose not take away our love and I will love her till the day I die.
Sorry if you got the wrong impression. I was not doubting your love for your girlfriend. I was just trying to convince you not to waste the rest of your life.
I have had my say, so I shall back off now and just wish you as good a life as possible.
No your ok I understand, but even thought we never met in the time we knew each other we knew a lot about each other, one thing I will say was that she was very vulnerable, as a person, and had no real friends as of such, which looking back hurt me a lot, but she was in Florida and I in london Eng, and then I’m a career for my disabled brother too, I really did want us to meet up, as soon as we were both ready and had the time to do so, and I thought that we both in our 50s’s we would have the time in life to do so, I never saw her death coming at all, which hurts me very much indeed, with the lost of her it proved to me how deep my love for her was, very deep indeed, some told me that she planted a seed in my heart and it grew, and yes that what happened, I wish I could have done more to have saved her from her self as her life style was not great too, I look back and I’m reduced to years, that I could not have help her and done more for her, as I said her death was a very big shock to me, I miss her every day of the week and light a candle every month on the 13th in her memory in my local R.C church , I time I feel her near me and I talk to her, it helps me a lot, but weather you’ve been with some one over 50 years, or less then 5 year, you are still going to feel there loss, and grief, ever one you’ve ever love leaves a scar on her heart, weather it a break up or there death, you feel the loss and don’t get over it, and if you a deep person like I am you feel it very deeply, I still cry over her loss and its over 3 months now, I want to feel her near me, and need to feel her near me, co’s I loved her so much and to bits.