A couple of weeks on

I have been given a lot of support and advice on this site, but have not posted for a couple of weeks as wanted to see how things would develop with me including taking the Citalopram tablets from the GP.
The tears of course still come. Usually at unexpected moments. Though when visiting my wife’s grave last week I really broke down and a young man came over to ask if I was okay.
There are still some items indoors that I need to dispose of, including a small wheelchair she used upstairs, as I get flashbacks when I see them.

The tablets seem to have calmed me down a bit but I am well aware when they start to wear off.

Life still seems pointless and not worth living. Nothing is important or fun without her. But I assume my feelings are normal?
Sorry to write so much about myself, but it helps writing it and I don’t know where else I can.
My best wishes to you all who are fellow sufferers.

Hello Blizzard, I am so very sorry for your pain. I have kept my husband’s ashes until I die then they will be scattered together, I always keep fresh flowers next to them from our garden.

Everything we do on a daily basis is a reminder of what was. Life is pointless for me, I am alive but not living if you can understand what I mean. I know my husband was very ill for the last three years of his life, but at least he was here with me and I could look after him the way he had looked after me all our married life, but now, life is pointless, what are we actually here for now, no-one needs us, our family has moved on and think I have done the same, little do they know.

We are just finding ways to get through each day and hope we can sleep at night but we know what the day after will bring, the same merry go round, that is all we are on a merry go round, going round in circles and going nowhere. There are plenty of towns and countries we can visit, but without your loved one there is no point in going, you are just as alone 1000 miles away as you are in your own front room.

Anyhow, there is nothing we can do about it is there.

Best wishes to everyone too.

Sheila x

Thank you Shelia, You have expressed so much better than I how I feel. Each day there was a laugh and fun. Even when ill she was here and I could care for her. Now I can do nothing but miss her so very much. Whatever I do wherever I go is pointless. meaningless. I so much know how you feel Shelia and only wish I had an answer that would help. But I do not. I can only give sympathy.

My deepest heartfelt wishes to you.
Blizzard.

Thank you Blizzard, it really does help knowing there are people on this wonderful site who know exactly what we are going through.

My deepest heartfelt wishes to you too Blizzard and thank you for replying to my post.

Please take care,

Love,

Sheila