A different life

It is nine weeks now since I lost my husband and in that time I have gone through so many emotions and feel physically washed out. My thoughts at the moment are will I ever be happy again and will I enjoy this life as I did. The loneliness has really set in now and am finding it hard to imagine doing things again as a single person and not as a twosome. That empty feeling of loss is overwhelming at times but I do try and accomplish something everyday which does help. I know he’s not coming back and I have to face each new challenge as it comes. I think for many of us the long winter months will be bleak and hard to endure on our own but it’s a journey we must travel and we must reach out for help when we need it and not enclose ourselves in our grief, easier said than done I know. I think to just write things down to how your feeling is a good thing and once again I am pleased I found this forum. We are not alone.


Morning, I agree with you it’s a different path in life stepping out as 1 person and not part of a couple. My husband passed away last December during lockdown and it’s only recently I’ve faced returning to a choir as a widow! I was always life & soul when I was a wife but you do feel different once our loved ones have gone. I met a lovely lady on a walk yesterday I hadn’t seen since my husband was in hospital & she asked if he’d survived ( long story - misdiagnosis) I had to tell her he was gone & I found myself tearing up about to break down . I honestly thought I was past that stage. However , during my lovely walk alone with my dog I came to realise that I don’t care anymore if I crumble when I’m asked about my husband as it is a measure of our love for each other.
I have gone out with a couple of friends recently and tbh I felt displaced !!! I know I will honour my husbands love for me by living & remembering him but finding it hard. I think we all miss that “ special “ person and bring someone’s “ special” person.Don’t know if that feeling will ever go away but I often talk to one of my husbands photos or write him a letter. Hope you find a way to help ease your way through life. I often come on here to read the posts as it helps me. Sending hugs x


I feel exactly the same way and avoided meeting people in case I broke down and made them feel uncomfortable. This is the next stage I’m going face and like what you said if you feel teary in circumstances when your with people let it be. I’m trying to look to the future with optimism not dread but it will take time. Thank you for your reply it is much appreciated. I will also be looking on the forum from time to time as it does help a little.

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I lost my Ex husband the beginning of August never thought it would affect my like it has we had been divorced for 20yrs. But then he was the father of my 2 beautiful daughter’s. I went to say goodbye at the Chapel of Rest and went to his funeral.
So strange what grief can do to a person all the bitterness just disappeared. I was glad l went as l could support my daughters and granddaughters. Grief has no time limit people say times a healer l don’t think it is you just learn to live with your Grief. I lost my Dad 20yrs ago and my Mum 5yrs ago still grieving for them think l always will. Hugs to you all

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