Hi John,
You seem to be managing to do things to fill your days - keep soldiering on! I’ll try and keep the music going - Eddie’s favourite song of all time was ‘Walking in Memphis’. Thoughts are with you 
xx
Hi, I am coming up to a year since we lost my hubby, his health wasn’t great but his passing was a shock I never in my lifetime ever expected to have to come to terms with, our family (as in immediate family our daughters/grandchildren) are completely heartbroken and devastated, he was our rock, our go to for everything and he could always help, fix it or advise! I was 17 when I met him, he was 23 so alot of family/friends didn’t think we’d last!!..we were together nearly 34 years and from being together, doing everything together (especially the last 3 years since our youngest daughter moved out leaving us back as a couple…we did suffer empty nest syndrome but once we got used to it we loved it and we still saw our daughters everyday as we are a very close family)
But I just wanted to say reading about everyone’s struggles with the loneliness, the pretence of being ok especially and the uncontrollable crying/upset, (I keep thinking how have I cried every day for nearly a year) I completely understand and knowing others are feeling as I am does help, as I keep thinking Im sure friends/some family think oh she’s ok now, I genuinely wish none of us were going through such pain…I am struggling so much at the moment, I think as its only a couple of weeks from his first anniversary I am constantly going over what we were doing this time last year and thinking could’ve I have changed things, wish Id told him more how much I loved him (although I know he knew) but its killing me thinking I should’ve told him more or showed him more and I feel guilty as I work in the nhs and I was consumed with worry over bringing anything home and maybe kept my distance slightly to protect him as did our daughters as they also work in the nhs and we followed all the guidelines meaning they only saw him from a distance and cuddling our grandchildren was missed so much.
I am sorry for waffling, thinking of everyone, take care x
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